7 Quick Takes - A Bucket List

---1---

I am excited about the ALS #icebucketchallenge and the attention that ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) is getting from it. It's a stupid gimmick, but those are exactly the kinds of things that go viral in the world we live in. This is bringing attention to a horrible disease, and I hope, quite frankly, that people are actually looking it up instead of just dumping ice water on each other.

---2---

In case you're new here, or you've forgotten, my mother died from ALS 7 years ago. As much as I hate the fact that she is gone from this world and I don't get to see her or talk to her anymore, I think she was one of the "lucky ones" that her form of ALS was fast moving and she sped through all the stages in only a year. I can't imagine how hard it is on the people (and their families) who have to live with ALS for many years.

Here's a link to a heartbreaking video that shows a little of what it's like to live with and care for someone with ALS. And this young man has it himself! (Major language warning there! Don't watch this one with your kids!)

---3---

I'm moderately excited about the more than $20,000,000 (that's 20 MILLION!) that have been donated in just a few weeks. At first, as I was watching all these videos on FB, I was under the impression that everyone was just dumping the ice water and not giving, but I was very wrong! ALSA has raised $53 million since July 29, 2014, compared with $64 million in all of 2013. Other research institutes are also benefitting from the ALS ice bucket challenge---like the John Paul II Medical Research Institute. I've given to the ALSA before without thinking about whether or not I find their research ethical. Now, having looked at the graph of where their money goes, I think there might be better options out there. In my opinion, not enough of those funds go to research, regardless of whether it's ethical or not, and even less goes to support the families living the ALS nightmare. But hey! JP2MRI will direct your funds to ALS research if that's what you want!

UPDATE: I guess I wasn't very clear about the issues Catholics face with donations that fund embryonic stem cell research, which is why one would choose to give to the JP2MRI, but my sister pointed out the ALSA position on stem cell research which isn't as bad as I thought. I believe Catholics can donate to them in good conscience and even note where they would like their donation to be spent. Personally, I'd still like to see a higher percentage of funds being spent on research and patient support.

---4---

The Kimberly Kim Foundation is one option for helping those families. 

Although the Emory ALS Center was the initial beneficiary of funds raised, the Kim family quickly discovered how much families living with ALS need financial assistance. Home modifications, wheelchairs, handicap vehicles, and communication devices are but a few of the expenses families face. While insurance provides some help, a large portion is not covered; the financial burden over the years of living with the disease is enormous. The foundation will search for ways to ease this burden. Families living with ALS have enough challenges to face.

A cure would be awesome, so would some kind of treatment, but for those who may not see either of those things happen in their lifetime, the support of local organizations or ALSA chapters in providing all those things listed above is invaluable.

---5---

Do you know someone with ALS? Supporting those families might be one of the hardest things you ever do, but your help will be greatly appreciated.

1. Meals for the family. 
2. Babysitting while the ALS patient goes to the doctor. 
3. Housecleaning. 
4. Sit with the ALS patient while the caregiver gets out for a much-needed break. It might be a little daunting, but the person you knew is still inside that malfunctioning body! 
5. Visit with the ALS patient even while the caregiver is home. Make them laugh. Talk. Read aloud.
6. Offer to help and keep coming back. It just gets harder and harder for the family, and the support system gets smaller and smaller.

---6---

My baby participated in the challenge today after being nominated by her cousin. 

---7---

I hate this disease. A lot of people hate cancer, but at least they have an arsenal of drugs to fight with. ALS has nothing. Just time---will it be fast or slow? Who knows, but it will be a death sentence, and not a gentle one. 

Have you been nominated or made a donation? Give your money, but give of yourself, too. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe there are less depressing Quick Takes somewhere else:

Join the fun at Jen's for more 7 Quick Takes!

Yarn Along

The knitting is a hat for my Meggie.  It's a more colorful version of this one, which we both love, but the white one is mine.    I'm using a bamboo yarn that she picked out because it was soft and colorful.  I really don't care for bamboo textiles----even though bamboo is fast-growing and invasive, it takes a lot of chemical processing to make it a satisfactory fabric.  A more compelling reason never to use it again is that my wrist is extremely sore from it.  My hands ache a little, but the right wrist is really Not Happy!  I've been knitting constantly for the past month or so, and it was only after starting this hat, and working on nothing else, that my wrist started hurting.

Anyone want to buy a ball of white bamboo yarn?

~~~

I borrowed Grain Brain from a friend after hearing Dr. Perlmutter on a podcast.  I've been hearing bad things about wheat for years---first from the low-carbers and primal/paleo crowd, and I experience(d) first hand it's addictive qualities, then there's Wheat Belly explaining those addictive qualities, and the fact that it's so hybridized as to be a completely different plant from the one Jesus had experience with.  Now, neurologist Dr. Perlmutter pulls together all the studies that show the negative effect of wheat and sugar on the brain, and gives us his own clinical experiences of patients whose problems are frequently improved or completely eradicated by a low-carb, no wheat, high fat diet. 

There are a lot of people pushing this type of paleo/primal/LCHF (low carb/high fat) diet for various reasons.  Hmmm...Could they be on to something?  I think so.  At my house, we still eat wheat, and way too much at that, but we eat a very whole foods diet with lots of meat, eggs, veggies, whole milk, real butter, coconut oil, etc.  There is absolutely no attempt to avoid fat in this household (except tranfats), and all the bloodwork for me and my DH is excellent.

It's definitely worth a read if you have any kind of health issues that are mysterious or affecting your brain health.   Personally, my brain fog disappears when I eat/drink/ingest 1/4 c. of coconut oil every day!  Being able to think clearly and express my thoughts disappears if I remove it from my diet for a few days.  And after my mother dying of a neurodegenerative disease that was pretty horrific, I'm all for doing what I can to avoid any of that!

~~~~

Happy reading and knitting!  Stop by Ginny's to see what everyone else is up to!

{PHFR}

{pretty}

~selfie~

 The Green Thing got a paint job.  If you read that link, you'll see that I've probably come to terms with my dear mother's death a little more in the past 5 years since I painted it white.  But I'm still calling it the Green Thing.  I think I chose white because I'm yearning for simplicity in my home these days.  And Mom painted everything white that wasn't nailed down, so there's that.

{happy}
This pillow desperately needed a new cover.  It didn't hold up well at all after purchase and was full of pulled threads (I took the pic after cutting off all the threads.  Natch.).  That was made worse by the fact that Gus has a rather unhealthy relationship with it. 

I whipped up a new cover for it out of this yellow toile that I purchased ages ago at Goodwill.  I was looking through my stash and suddenly realized that it would be great with the new color-scheme developing (slowly) in the family room.

It takes about 5 minutes to fold over the fabric, overlapping it in the back, and sew 2 straight seems.  Turn it right side out and stuff it with a pillow.  I covered 2 other ratty pillows and was thrilled with my accomplishment for the day!

Maybe the dog won't recognize his friend in her new clothes, but I don't have much hope of that! {funny}
This is for my sweet friend Beverley who texted to see if I was well-supplied with bonbons on my day off (while the kids are at school), and admitted to being jealous that my house is cleaner than hers.  So, I thought I'd show her (and you) what kind of a mess I can make without the help of children! {real} Distracted by the phone because we are tired of studying grammar for a test.   (Sigh.  Sorry, I forgot to rotate that before downloading.  I'm going to leave it as is since I can scarcely find the time for blogging these days, despite 14 child-free hours during the week. )  So....school.  We're baking brownies to celebrate Louisiana Purchase Day.  Thankfully, Meg did 99% of it herself!

~~~~

Go visit the other fine ladies at LMLD for more Pretty Funny Happy Real posts!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms out there who work so hard for their families!

Reading Mother's Day posts has me teary-eyed already.  How many of you are in tears today?  My husband keeps saying he's not doing anything for me today because I'm not his mother, (I think he's joking) but his mother is actually here today, so he can celebrate with her.  

My mom, God rest her soul, is not here, but I hope she knows how much I love her and miss her. 

My children are not all here, yet.  There is one more missing who is returning from a camping trip this morning.  Then, we will all be together for today, and I will enjoy having all my children together for one more day.  

My Blessed Mother

This is the kind of moment that makes a mother proud.  Actually, it's more than 6 moments, but you know what I mean.



This Mother's Day started off happy, but it's deteriorating into a bout of deep sadness, wishing my mom was here on earth, so I could call her and wish her a happy day and thank her for everything she ever did for me.  You know, I don't think I ever did that.  Make sure you do it.

In lieu of my earthly mother, I went out in the rain, with my feet bare, and picked all the beautiful flowers I could find on the side of my house to decorate my Blessed Mother's altar.

And now, I'm going to sit down, knit, and pray for my dear friend who has a new baby and is happy to be alive.  And I know her children are happy about that, too.

That first piece, Divenire, is a little melancholy.  Cheer up with this ensemble piece.  You can't see my son in this video.  :-(

Missing Mom

It's funny how it strikes out of the blue.  I think of my mother often and speak of her without difficulty, but sometimes I just miss her so much it hurts.  For some reason, I was really feeling her absence during Thanksgiving and the week after.

For the most part, I struggled to put my finger on what was wrong with me during that time period, but when I found myself crying, it always seemed to be for my mom.  Yes, other things were getting me down, too, but I missed her dreadfully.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Did I want her to comfort me, or was the other stuff a symptom of the sorrow?

Maybe because today is her birthday, the 5th birthday without her, and I've heard that we often mourn anew just before a significant date rather than on the date itself.  I miss her presence around Christmas because she loved decorating for Christmas.  I remember we always had our decor up by Dec. 1, if not actually Thanksgiving weekend.

Happy Birthday, Mom!  I hope you're having a good time in Heaven.

7 Quick Takes - Messy Edition

~1~

This is what you see when you walk in my house these days:  very organized clutter.  Stuff on the stairs to be returned to friends.  Piles of paper on the floor to be filed for each child.  A box of books and manipulatives to be given away.  And an empty trashcan because it was  taken out along with the large pile of trash beside it.

 ~2~

If you look to the left, there's the lovely library:  It's still totally disorganized.  I don't know what it all is or where it goes, except....the 2 cardboard boxes contain the Amazon Seller inventories of myself and Katie.  They're going to find homes in the basement.  The gray filebox is AHG stuff which needs to be re-organized before the year starts.

 ~3~

And here's the mess in-between:  Mom's paintings that need to be hung downstairs.  There's a bunch more down there waiting to go on the walls.  It would be nice to have that done in time for the 4th anniversary of her death next week.  I wish she were here to help---we always managed to get junk like this sorted out much faster when we were together!  Love you, Mom!

Hiding behind the painting are a zillion newly emptied hanging files which need to be re-used or put away.  And then there are Teacher's Manuals to replace the ones already on the desk next to the computer.

~4~

Speaking of Mom...Her 50th college reunion would have been this year, and the class got together to buy this little statue for the university.  They call it "Hope".  It was dedicated to members of the faculty and the class, one of whom is my mother.  She was very much loved by her friends.  And her family.  I'm so proud of her.

~5~

There's still a lot of mess here, but I did get a lot done yesterday!  I swear, I did!  Most of it was intellectual in that I had a long conversation with a friend and made decisions about which books to use this year.  We're going to follow Mother of Divine Grace for the most part, this year, with the exception of science and math.  So, that allowed me to rearrange the mess somewhat, now that that I know what has to go where.

~6~

I'm still enjoying my Supreme 90 workout.  I haven't finished all 10 workouts yet since I had the week off for summer camp.  I have 2 more, but I've really "enjoyed" every one.  I also won't do them 6 days a week as they recommend.  My rules are:  at least 2 workouts in a row, and no more than one day off between workouts.  That works out to 5 days per week and is very liveable for me. 

~7~

Gotta run get some of this mess cleared out!  We're going to have fun with friends this afternoon and the painters will be here next week to paint inside.  This has to be all cleaned up and put away by Monday!

~~~~

Are you cleaning up messes before summer ends?

Have a blessed weekend!

August, Again.

Here we are.  Again.

It's hot as blazes practically every day.  My kids are scattered hither and thither; sometimes I'm driving them, sometimes they're just in the neighborhood.  Either way, it's hard to grab them long enough to get them to do a chore, let alone have a conversation with them.

August has its good and bad, you know.

Good:  Wedding anniversary!  24 years!

Bad:  Anniversary of Mom's death.  And it totally did NOT help that I read The Last Song the other day with the whole long, drawn out description of the father's last weeks.  OTOH, I did get a good cry out of it, which may have been beneficial.

Good:  Birthday.  Mine.  Wait....Is that one good or bad?  The presents part is good.  Another year?  Not so much.

Bad:  School starts.  Of the 4 schools our children attend (college, 2 secondary, home), the slow exodus begins on the 9th.

Good:  School starts.  We need the structure!  I found myself saying to someone yesterday that I can't wait for my kids to go back to school!  And I never say that!  I hate hearing it from others as if their children are an intrusion in their lives of tennis, lunches and manicures.  I love having my children around, even if they do create huge messes, but I think we're all just a little tired of the lack of structure and brainwork.  But let me pause to point out here that my high schoolers would say that they have been doing their summer reading and mini-essays, and are using their brains plenty, thank-you-very-much!

Bad:  School starts!!!  This may actually be the latest I have ever gotten around to planning our homeschool curriculum.  In fact, there are very good signs that I may not plan it at all and just wing it all year long.  I just know some of you are saying:  Wow, I wish I had the nerve to do that!  and others are saying:  Oh my goodness.  Will those children even get an education?  They will.  I promise.  In fact, we might all learn something!

Good:  Even August comes to an end, followed by September which brings glorious Fall!  I know we have a ways to go before cooler weather comes, but I'm looking forward to it.

 I'll just leave you with a picture of this beautiful lady and her daughters who miss her.

7 Quick Takes

~1~

We're off to Six Flags today for a little recreation!  It's homeschool day so we got bargain tickets which are a great price AND include lunch AND a return ticket.  Although they're not such a bargain when you hit the wrong button, multi-task, and end up purchasing twice as many tickets as you need. 

The good news is that I managed to sell one to one of LP's friends whose brothers were already going, and I decided to practically kidnap 3 other siblings the perfect ages for my children since the tix were going to waste.  It would have been perfect if their mom could go, but all the children will have much more fun with their friends.  

And maybe I'll get to ride a roller coaster.  Or six.

~2~

The big reveal on the Journey North is today.   We didn't do nearly all the activities you could do with this project, but we had our guesses on where the mystery classes are.  TMax and I were proud to see that we were pretty close on 8 of the 10.  If we had done the homework for the past 2 weeks we might have gotten them all.  It was very interesting.  I hope Pipster and LP are more interested in it next year!

~3~

I'm loving Friday mornings now because I get to read a gazillion blogs that are linked up on The Inspired Room!  I know it's silly, but I like to find those little nuggets of thrifty and creative inspiration.  Frankly, I can do without photo after photo of magazine shots.  I prefer the real life creativity, not artificial, un-lived-in houses.

~4~

As I was saying in last night's post, I love it when inspiration strikes and the time and materials are at hand to accomplish a project. 

I don't like it when you start a project and you just can't seem to get going with it.  Little Princess wants some redecorating done in her room, and while we've bought a few things and started painted her little wardrobe, the project is just not coming together.  

Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that I don't want to Hannah-fy her room?

Hmmmm.....Why can't she just be a sweet Little Princess instead of a Pop Princess?

~5~

It has been a busy week here.  I've been out 3 nights this week and missed Family Dinner!  It's shocking and unusual for us.  I'm sad to say that I'll be missing 2 per week almost every week from now on.  I'll still cook it, and dh will hold down the fort (or the dining table), but I won't be there.  Weird.

Choir on Wednesdays and American Heritage Girls on 3 Thursdays per month.  If you want to know.

~6~

Mother's Day is coming up.  Have you heard?  Since my mother's passing 3 years ago (has it really been that long???),  I miss her all the time, but I'm so grateful for the Communion of Saints.  The loss of her earthly life doesn't devastate me because I know she was a very faithful Christian and held on to that faith during her yearlong battle with ALS.  I'm confident that I'll see her again.  (Well, that depends on how well I do, now, doesn't it?)

My dear sister's response to Mother's Day is to ignore it completely.  She doesn't want to be Happy Mother's Dayed by anyone, even her daughter who can't be with her.  She doesn't want to discuss it.  She wants to pretend it doesn't exist, and then the pain doesn't exist.  I don't want to criticize her handling of it, because we're different people and everyone has different, though acceptable ways of dealing with grief, but I just don't see how it helps.  I'd rather enjoy all the things around me that my sweet mother created or painted or loved, because they give me comfort.  Not pain.  I wouldn't mind if someone remembered my mother on Mother's Day and reminded me of her, because she was a wonderful mother and the one person from whom I could find unconditional love.

So, Happy Mother's Day!  How will you celebrate or remember your mother?

~7~

I'm going to Six Flags today.  Did I say that already? ;-)  

In my ideal world, I would ride all the roller coasters at least once.  Some of them several times.  Nothing else really interests me.

I think Dh and I should take a couple of the return tickets and go on a date.   Some evening when it's cooler and less crowded.  And just ride coasters.  Over and over again.  

He loves that about me. 

~~~~~

Visit Jen's Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

Monday, Monday

I'm sitting here this morning, cold and unwilling to start the day week.

My dreams were filled with my gigantic TO DO LIST for this week.

We have a full week of school ahead of us, as usual.

It looks like I'll be back and forth to the garden twice a day for a while.  It froze last night and we had to go cover the seedlings.  Since it's a community garden, we also have to go back over first thing this morning to remove the covers.  And go back tonight to re-cover the seedlings, et cetera.  It's supposed to warm up again later in the week, thank heavens.

So, it's cold and I need to get dressed.  That means I'll probably put on my favorite sweater to stay warm.  It's actually my Dear Husband's sweater.  Of course.  It's a gray wool cardigan that my mom gave him years ago.   Very Mister Rogers---except with buttons, not a zipper.  I guess he gets too warm in it, but he never wore it much, so I "borrowed" it a couple of years ago.  I wear it all the time in the winter.

It's funny....it's his sweater.... She gave it to him, but I feel so close to my mom when I wear it.  I think of her all the time.  I think of how much she loved my Dear Husband.

And the really sad thing is that it's wearing out.  The cuffs are all frayed.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to retire it soon.  Actually, I'll turn it into something else....I don't know what yet....but I can't just toss it in the bin.  I'm unreasonably attached to this sweater.  I'm not nearly as attached to the clothes she wore, herself, just this.

What would you do with an old sweater????  I think it will felt very nicely, but then what?

Saturday at the High

Pipster reminded us that Saturday was the First Saturday and practically begged us to go to the museum since it was free. It would be nice if the children begged us to take them to Mass for First Saturdays, but I'm happy that my 10 year-old wild man wanted to go to a museum.

A little Monet made my day!

They have a new Louvre exhibit with some very interesting pieces. It was not as exciting as the one we went to in September. Sadly, we missed the last exhibit because it was only here for six months.

St. Sebastian---the arrow holes, which you can't see here, look like they were made with pencils.

Anyway, we spent a little more time in the main section and hit some floors that we missed last time because everyone was falling apart from hunger. What is it about culture that makes everyone so darn hungry all the time? We had the same problem this Saturday.

Giovanni Bellini---Madonna and Child

Veiled Rebekah---amazing work with marble!

Hugues Merle---Maternal Love

Renoir---Still Life with Apples (no kidding)

Sorry, didn't get the title of this one!

Let me tell you, few things make me miss my mom more than going to an art museum. She used be in ecstasies over some things. I feel the same way, myself, although I don't have the luxury of lingering over pieces, yet.

Then there is this little house outside that I had never paid much attention to. Until we walked past it yesterday and the children were talking about the different angles. I thought it was flat until I walked passed it.




And it followed me. It looked like it was on a turntable. I took a video, but you can't see it very well in the video. If you walk far enough, you can see that it's not flat and it's not actually turning. It's kind of cool.



Thanks for joining us on this little tour! Have a great Monday!

Day 6

This sweet Japanese maple is my happy photo of the day. I love this tree. It reminds me of my mother every time I see it, and as it is in front of my house, that's pretty often!

Mom brought me half a dozen seedlings from a very large, mature tree one year when she was staying in Delaware (?) at the home of portraitist Nelson Shanks. He had art students stay with him for months at a time to help out around the estate in exchange for lessons. Nelson painted this gorgeous painting that some of my friends may be familiar with:



So, when I see this tree and it's siblings in the backyard, I'm reminded of my mother's love for gardening, her incredible talent for painting, and her gifts to me.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. It's Saturday here. Yesterday I was at my grandmother's funeral.

2. We've driven halfway across the country with a sick child who has actually been too sick to attend any family functions and stayed in a strange house, or hotel, alone. He's 17, don't worry!

3. Today we're spending some time with my dad. Leaving Hitch in the bonus room at my sister's where he can use his computer or the wide screen tv. 200 DVDs to choose from and cable.

4. Leaving early tomorrow for home. Praise the Lord! But we have put so many miles on the car in the past few days.

5. Wondering who will be sick next? Will we leave this influenza-like illness in our wake? Will we all get it from being in the car with him 12 hours a day?

6. I didn't get any of the things done over spring break that I wanted to do! I go home to a heavy homeschooling schedule and a messy house. I guess it's just like this week never happened.

7. I'm not terribly sad about Grandmother. She was 95 and had been ready to leave this world for several years. She was in pretty good health until the end and had just a few bad weeks that started with a heart attack last month. The hardest part of it all was that it was an almost identical repeat of Mom's funeral a year and a half ago. Same funeral home, same viewing room, same church, same luncheon, same people. We didn't really like having to re-live one of the worst times in our lives.

I can't wait to be home!

My Christmas Tree

Last night I came home from choir rehearsal to a quiet house. Dh was asleep on the sofa and the kids were nowhere to be seen. Heard, eventually, but not seen. They were all down in the basement cuddled around the warmth of a laptop or making silly videos.

When we summoned them for evening prayers---our Jesse tree reading and the Christmas Novena---I discovered there were six of them! All six of them! I hadn't seen all 6 of them at once since Thanksgiving! Our tree decorating was tentatively scheduled for tonight, but the boys pointed out that The School had scheduled Vespers and they wouldn't be home until late. So, we had an impromptu tree decorating party last night.

We didn't drag out all the boxes of ornaments, just two. And I picked which ones to put on the tree.

We have so many ornaments it is insane. The children each have a box of their own because they get one from St. Nicholas every year. Plus they collect them from other sources occasionally. KT, girl that she is, likes to buy a couple that she loves every year. I didn't even consider getting their boxes out. It just makes packing up after Christmas a big nightmare!

I'm not sure how we acquired so many. I think it is because I love Christmas and I bought a few every year at the clearance sales. That, and I like to have a different theme every year. Sometimes it's gold---like this year---big gold ribbons and the nicer ornaments. Sometimes it's country with red, cranberry-style garland and more rustic ornaments. Sometimes it's white with pearl garland and predominantly white ornaments. Usually the lights are all white, but sometimes we go crazy and use colored lights, all the ornaments, and no garland.

If my house were larger, I would definitely have more trees. Or if I could afford the trees. I could put a small one in the upstairs hall and one in the basement. That way I could have more than one theme going every year!

I inherited the Nativity-collecting gene from my dad. I must have gotten the multiple-tree gene from him too. He has a small, but sprawling ranch house---basically, 2 bedrooms, den, living room, dining room, kitchen, and 10 trees. All different themes.

Anyway, I wanted to show you some of my favorite ornaments.

When we first got married and had nothing, not even money, we bought a few white tin ornaments. I love their lacy look and my mom taught me to love white things! But at $10 - $15 each, it took a few years to get as many as we have, and there's no picture because they didn't make it to the tree this year!

When KT was a baby and for a couple of years after that, we decorated the tree with those white ornaments, big bows with streamers made of crepe paper from the craft store. The kind you had to unwind with a power drill. And popcorn balls wrapped in cellophane and tied with silver ribbon. I got the idea from Martha Stewart, and I loved that tree!


We like to collect ornaments as a vacation souvenir now. We try to get the pretty gold ones, but not everyone has that style.

I love my Georgia Peach!

These two "Snow babies" commemorate the birth of TMax born during the Blizzard of '96 without the assistance of a midwife.
I painted ornaments like these when I was growing up (did you????) and I didn't know what happened to them. I found a collection of them at Goodwill one day and I snatched them up because they were nicely painted and reminded me of my childhood. I believe some of these are our old ones that Mom gave me before she died. She gave me so many things when I visited---things I discovered I didn't want if it meant that she was dying--- so I don't remember clearly.

Dh gave me this handpainted Russian pair that I love. They always have to hang next to each other on the tree.

I'm also loving this White House ornament that Mil and Fil gave us last year. It's beautiful and it's in the same style as our Mount Vernon ornament that we picked up a couple years ago.


As an aside, sometimes everything comes back to Mom. She's on our minds a lot right now. I can't look at that Mt. Vernon ornament (way up at the top w/ the other souvenirs) without remembering that I was walking around the grounds when my sister called to discuss what was wrong with Mom, whether she had had a stroke and which Dr. she needed to see. She also loved Christmas. What faithful Christian doesn't? And she could decorate a house like nobody's business. When she was dirt poor (hmm, most of her life!) she always had some incredibly gorgeous, unique and inexpensive decorative scheme. I wish I had her talent!

This ornament was given to us last year by one of Mom's good friends in Oklahoma. She had one made for each of us kids. It says:

Merry Christmas from Heaven!

I love you all dearly,
Now don't shed a tear,
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year.

It's engraved with her name and the dates of her birth and death on the back.

My tree is filled with the memories of past Christmases and the blessings that Jesus has given us. I hope yours is, too!

Tell me what's on your tree and why you love it!



Have a blessed week!

It's Finally September!

August is no longer a very happy month for me. The only good thing is my wedding anniversary on the 2nd. Quickly followed by the anniversary of my mom's death on the 4th. Then my birthday on the 10th (I'm finally tired of getting older!), and then my children begin to leave home for school. So far, just one, but next August it will be 2!

I can't believe it has been almost a week since I posted on my blog! I've been missing it, but things have been crazy around here. In addition to the normal craziness of homeschooling and caring for a large-ish family, I had to prepare for that dreaded co-op class on Shell Identification.

When Friday finally came, I was at peace because I knew I couldn't come up with anymore ideas or do any more research and I just had to go with what I had. I don't know about the other boys in the class, but TMax enjoyed it and said it was fun and educational. He's such a sweetheart! Now I get to give the same lesson to the girls next Friday and I don't need to prepare. I will, however, have to do some prep (with help this time!) on Ocean Habitats. Could that topic be any bigger for a 1.5 hour class?????

After class we had to hit Costco for some much-needed food to feed the in-laws who arrived around 6 p.m. We had a nice, relaxing weekend with the grandparents whom the children haven't seen in a long while. Since Christmas? I can't believe it has been that long.

So, I really had time to blog this weekend, but I didn't. I don't have time today, but I am. As it turns out, we should have had school yesterday since it was on the schedule, but I didn't' know when I made the schedule that we'd have company or that KT would be here for the Labor Day weekend. We have to take her back in a couple of hours and that will seriously cut into our school time! But we'll get to listen to the grand finale of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

It has been wonderful having my sweet girl home from school for 3 days---even though we hadn't had a chance to miss her yet! jk. We miss her always, but we manage to stuff it down deep and not think about it until she's back.

The big news is that my sister got married yesterday! I was very sad that I couldn't be there with her, and neither could my brother. I heard from my niece from her first marriage that it was a beautiful day and all the guests were well behaved.

What a Wednesday!

Is it really Wednesday? I'm so off-balance, I have no idea. It all started last week with missing Wednesday. I have no idea where it went and I didn't catch up until Sunday, cuz that was my birthday. Hard to forget turning 44. But the brain quickly lost track again!

Maybe that's why I prefer the school year---I have the different daily activities, like piano lessons or football games, that keep me firmly anchored to the appropriate day of the week.

Oh, and there are 2 posts today---scroll on down when you're done with this one. The Jane Austen post was supposed to appear on the 8th, but I had scheduled it for 2009. Sheesh.

What's Going on Today?

• First piano lesson of the school year for TMax!
• First non-piano lesson of the year for Pipster. He quit in a huge display of tears after his cast came off.
• Football practice for Hitch and Madden, which means
• Seriously complex carpooling maneuvers to get them to school and TMax to piano.
• After piano is over, I can just relax and turn my van over to KT so she can drive alll the waaay to Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater for a concert tonight. Alone. Jack Johnson, anyone? She is meeting a friend there, one who lives on the opposite side of Atlanta, so no carpooling.

What I'm excited about:

I got my very first bloggy award from my friend Kalynne at The Philosopher-Mom. Now, let's see if I'm clever enough to figure out how to post the darn thing---I mean, "this wonderful award."



I'd like to thank the Academy and my (10) faithful readers for this award. I will endeavor to kick some ass in future posts. I'd nominate Kalynne, but she already got one and really kicks ass. So, I'll nominate some of my other favorite bloggers:

Rachel at Between Stupid and Clever
Kathleen, The Responsible One
Suburban Correspondent, The More, the Messier
Jennifer, Conversion Diary, and
Holly, June Cleaver Nirvana

What I'm not excited about:

• Pretty much everything.
• Calendar filling up to a scary degree.
• My sweet girl going back to UGa on Friday.
• Co-op starting in 3 weeks.
• Being the lead teacher for the 7th grade and up Boys.
• Did I mention Co-op?

What I'm working on:

• Remember the photo albums? 20 years worth of photos are still on my dining room table and they need to be put away by Labor Day weekend when Mil & Fil come to visit.
• Redecorating my bedroom, on a shoestring, in a way that will make me smile when I walk in. That involves repainting my mother's Ethan Allen furniture white. A huge job. But she would totally approve since she hated it and she had painted the matching hutch white years ago. She loved painting things white!

What I'm looking forward to:

• Watching more Olympics
• Listening to 17 hours of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on CD because Pipster hasn't read it yet. It really makes driving places bearable!
• Best of all----Choir rehearsals start again next week!!! And I get to be in the "quartet" this year that sings gorgeous music once a month!

Ya'll have a great day!

A Year Ago Today

I said good-bye to my sweet Mom. God rest her soul. It was a long good-bye, but when it was over, it was over all too soon. I had gotten a one-way ticket to my sister's home so I could be there for the end, and then I would drive home with my family after the funeral.

In July of 2006, Mom started slurring her words. The doctor thought it was just neuralgia brought on by the shingles that she had on her head and neck. But there was also weakness all down the right side of her body, so we were convinced she had had a small stroke. It was only the insistence of my brother and sister that made her go to the doctor again and again for answers. All the tests, which I was not there for, so I'm not sure what they all were, showed nothing. Fearing ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease, the local neurologist sent her to an ALS Specialist. I remember being at a high school football game when my sister called to tell me that they were "more than 60% sure" that it was ALS. I don't remember ever doing any other investigation into the disease, but I had seen the movie that same year and I knew it was bad. I immediately planned a trip out there to go with them to the specialist for the second opinion, and to help move most of my mom's stuff out of Grandmother's house, to my sister's.

November 10 was the date of the appointment and I arrived a day earlier. When I saw Mom at D's, she seemed to have shrunk and aged 10 years since I had seen her in April. We just held onto each other and cried, and I suddenly felt as if I were the mother and I had to comfort her and be the spiritual strength for all of us. It was such a hard 3 days with the driving and the doctor and the packing. And Grandmother was none too happy with us for taking her scapegoat away from her, leaving her "blind and helpless"!

The doctor did not actually diagnose Mom with ALS. It's a hard one to diagnose---they actually do it by eliminating every other possibility. He said she did have a motor neuron disease (MND), but he wasn't yet sure about ALS. Time would tell. I think she only made one more visit there, as they generally see MND patients quarterly, and after that second one, Mom was too weak to travel all the way to Oklahoma City from Missouri. God bless the man because he gave us so much to hope for that day and made us feel that it was possible to live with this dreadful disease. The harsh reality is that most people don't live with ALS, they die a little every day from it.

That weekend, despite it's hardships was a beautiful time spent together. We talked and laughed about all the old stories. We told Mom some new stories----things we had done and not gotten caught for! It was a time that I cherish.

There were a few more get togethers that year. Mom and D made the drive to our house for Thanksgiving. Mom was already too weak to walk up the stairs, so we got an Aerobed for her to use in the living room. I could already see the toll that this was taking on my sister. She found being in my noisy house with 6 kids relaxing because I was there to share the responsibility for Mom.

We went to D's for Christmas. All 8 of us crowded into her tiny 2 bedroom house! There were people sleeping everywhere. Again, my sister found that having us there eased the burdens on her shoulders. At this point, Mom was using a rolling walker full-time to get around. She was in good spirits and refused to use the "scooter" that her brother had gotten for her. So the kids made good use of it on Christmas Day and Mom found the energy to come out and watch for a few minutes. We all cried uncontrollably when we left because we didn't know when we would see each other again, or under what circumstances. It was the last time the children saw their grandmother. Later, she didn't want them to come visit. She didn't want them to remember her as a complete invalid.

My next trip out was to be there when Mom had a feeding tube put in. Early March? It was getting so hard for her to eat and she decided that she wasn't quite ready to starve herself to death. At this point she was in a real, $24,000 motorized wheelchair full-time. She was able to get out to use the walker and go to the bathroom or get to the car, but that was it. It was also very hard to understand her. As with a toddler, the family can usually understand them pretty well, but others have more difficulty. That's the way it was with Mom; her speech had deteriorated a lot.

She was basically on the edge of a precipice with her mobility. But that's the way it is with this disease, you're walking along the edge of a cliff all the time. Sometimes you manage to maintain your balance for a long time, other times it doesn't take much to push you off to the ledge lower down. Mom could maintain a certain level for about 3 days before she lost some mobility. One day you can wash your face with a washcloth that weighs as much as a brick, the next day, you can't. One more step closer to complete dependence.

That's what happened with the feeding tube surgery. It was harder on her than they let on it would be. She was in terrible pain from this minor procedure. Between the pain and the morphine, she lost all ability to stand on her own. We had quite a time at the hospital with nurses who had no clue about ALS and couldn't understand why she could walk when she got there and suddenly couldn't even stand. They had no idea how to treat her or move her without hurting her. We were learning, too, because we hadn't quite realized how much work Mom was doing when we made tranfers from wheelchair to bed or toilet. It felt like we had been doing all the work, but we suddenly understood that she had been working incredibly hard just to stand for 5 seconds!

The lesson here is: Never, never, never, leave someone who can't speak or move, or both, alone in a hospital! They need constant advocacy and protection.

The feeding tube was not a big bonus and didn't improve Mom's life very much. It only made it easier to give her some of her meds. She continued eating softer and softer foods right up until the last week.

I made one more trip out in late May or early June to give my sister some respite. She was heroically doing all this HARD caregiving on her own. She had even lost her job because of it. That was actually a blessing because she was no longer torn in 2 directions and she had a severance package that would pay the bills until early August. At the end of that trip, the night before I left, Mom decided to have a catheter put in and remain in bed for the rest of her time. I believe she made a couple more trips out for church, but not many. They had started having hospice a few weeks earlier which helped a little.

When I came for the last trip, we had a good first week, spending time with Mom. We talked---and conversations were slow and laborious with her, but she had things she needed to say. One of the last conversations we had was memorable because she took great pains to tell us she was ready to go, she couldn't wait to walk again in heaven.

I massaged her hands and feet and did her nails, which was not easy on either of us since her hands were curled up and couldn't be straightened. Every morning she had her cappuccino to start the day. D and I knew that when the cappuccinos stopped, Mom would too. She loved for us to brush her hair. HARD. I thought I was going to draw blood with her spiky hairbrush, but she loved it and D would have to take over because I'm too gentle. Now I understand how she was starved for physical contact and something that would get her blood flowing.

The last week was the worst. My brother came after I had been there a week. He brought the casket he had built for Mom since she wanted a simple pine box. It was simple and beautiful. That second week of my stay, she suddenly took a turn and we were continually surprised when we found her still with us the next day. But she wasn't at peace and we could no longer understand her. She could only communicate by nodding or shaking her head, but with the oxygen deprivations she was very confused and didn't always make sense. She didn't want her anti-anxiety meds because she didn't want to be loopy. I think she wanted to enjoy having her children all together for the first time in years, even though it wasn't a very enjoyable occasion. After we stopped watching her breathe because the strain was too much, we spent time together while Mom slept in the next room. We reminisced and got to know each other again and it was good.

Sometime around Wednesday, the first of August, she slipped into a semi-coma. Sometimes she opened her eyes if we spoke to her, but there was no other response. When D asked if she wanted T to play his banjo at her funeral, she grunted "no". lol. On Saturday, my sister and I had to get a break, so we decided to go shopping to buy Mom something to wear for the funeral. It was good to get out of the house and get that errand over with. We had planned to wait until after her death to buy it, but agreed that it had been better beforehand.

We went back to the house and put everything away. T left to get something he needed for his truck. We went in and told Mom about her new outfit and asked if she wanted to watch Gilmore Girls. I think the answer was No, because she suddenly stopped breathing regularly. I alerted D, who was on the computer, and we held her hand and stroked her arm as she took her last breaths. How could it happen so suddenly when we'd been waiting for it for weeks? How can it take you by surprise like that? But it did, and our precious mother was gone.

There are so many things that I never learned from Mom. Things I wanted to ask. Things I still want to ask her. During all that, I wished she had taught me about dying. Maybe she didn't know as much as I do now, but I didn't want to learn it from her in that way.

I'll tell you what I know:

• Don't waste time being angry with people. Forgive them. Mom forgave everyone. She didn't have any bad feelings for anyone, she let it all go. In fact, she let them come visit to make amends if it would make them feel better!
• Tell people you love them. Even if it's a girlfriend and seems silly. Don't wait until they're dying!
  
• There's no use complaining. It doesn't do any good. She never complained about her illness, or questioned why God let it happen to her. She just let Him handle it. And He did.
• Touch the people you love. Touch the handicapped who probably long for physical contact more than you know.
• I know she's still with me. I see her all around my house in her art and in the things she left me.
• I don't have any fears for her soul as she was so faithful and trusted God, but I know that I can continue to pray for her, just in case. I think she did her purgatory here on earth, even if she didn't know she was doing it, I prayed for God to accept it as such for the whole year.
  

I love you, Mom, and I miss you every day!