I read a very interesting, wide-ranging movie review the other day. Sister Helen Burns's review of Magic Mike covered so much more than the movie itself! She gave a beautiful explanation of the definitions of lust, and male and female sexuality, and the theology of the body. I haven't read her blog before, but I will certainly be going back after this! Stop by now and see what she had to say; I will be happily waiting for you here.
I grew up in a very worldly, sexualized society, like most people my age, that has changed quite a bit in my lifetime! In fact, you could almost say that I've grown up with the birth control pill since it was legalized just a few years before I was born.
Wow, it only just occurred to me to wonder why my (non-Catholic) mom had three children very close together when the pill was available. I know that by the time she got pregnant with me, the last, she was miserable and wanted out. I've always known I was unwanted, but very much loved once I arrived. I have years worth of birthday cards telling me what a gift I was to my mom, and how much joy I brought her. I have no illusions that I merited any of that (although I was pretty cute and sweet!); it was merely the fact of my existence. And that is a whole different blog post about how much joy a life can give, no matter what the circumstances.
Oh, it looks like this is going to be a wide-ranging blog post, too! Back to the movie-review...which filled me with thoughts about what it means to be a woman and a sexual creature...
I grew up (along with the pill, remember?) thinking I had to dress a certain way (immodestly) to be attractive. I had to have the perfect figure, and if I didn't have those things, I had to do certain things to be worthy. Of course, not all those things I felt compelled to do were sexual (nor did I do everything. I was very uncool in that way!); I also felt that I needed to have a big career---you know, bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.
All I really wanted, as it turns out, was to get married at 21 and have children, preferably staying home to raise them. It was the Catholic Church and my loving husband, that opened my eyes to the true beauty of this lifestyle, which society continually tries to destroy. Children have become disposable commodities to have at our discretion. More and more, we are wanting them to be designer, perfect babies, if we want them at all. Women are not fulfilling their potential by staying home to take care of them.
These days I consider myself a feminist---one who believes that caring for a husband and family is the highest of callings. Extended breast feeding, which is a form of mothering as well as nourishing, is part of that. Now, I don't care if you couldn't breast feed, or if you feel you have to work, either for your sanity or for your bank account. I'm not here to judge your choices or abilities, and I wish that people would stop judging me for mine. I might wish you didn't feel as if you have fit a certain mold, but that doesn't mean I think less of you!
I've said before (sorry, not many links today since I'm typing on the iPad!) that we started using NFP a few years into our marriage. Learning to see the beauty of the sex act, and the miracle of children led to my conversion. I could see that the Catholic Church, far from being an oppressor of women, was the one place that I and my children were to be wholeheartedly accepted and r.e.s.p.e.c.t.e.d. Years of using NFP, teaching NFP, giving RCIA talks on marriage and sexuality, and teaching a more in-depth pe-Cana (marriage prep) class on marital sexuality further ingrained that belief in the beauty of womanhood. So, finally getting to the point, I hate to see the destruction of society and femininity brought about by contraception and porn. The continued degradation of women through movies, books, and billboards. You name it. Hardly anyplace is the value of true womanhood upheld.
Now, it would be nice if the rest of the world would let children be children instead of teaching them about sex through movies, tv, radio, and schools. It would be nice if girls knew that they could say no to sex and immodest clothing, so that they could be seen as a whole person and not just a collection of body parts to be judged. It would be awesome if each young girl knew that she was totally worth the wait and that there is nothing more beautiful than married sex which is open to God's plan for life. And it would've great if women didn't feel they have to objectify men as we've been objectified all these years.
~~~~~~
I'm going to wrap up my rambling rant now! This is what you get when I go on vacation and I have, basically, all day long to write a post! Let me know what you think and what you'd like to rant about next. Have a blessed day!
Showing posts with label CCL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CCL. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Gospel of Life
In honor of the 40th anniversary of Humanae Vitae, the encyclical letter by Pope Paul VI on the regulation of birth, I re-read it yesterday during my hour of adoration of the blessed sacrament. It was published (promulgated? I always forget where that word applies!) on July 25, 1968.
It's a beautiful little work which I think explains clearly the beauty of marriage and the responsibility of husbands and wives who are "the free and responsible collaborators of God the Creator." God has given us an incredible gift in this ability to share in the act of creation. We are able to create new life, just as He did with Adam and Eve. The love of a man and woman, when expressed physically, creates life, just as the love of the Father and the Son brought forth the Holy Spirit.
God generously gave us this freedom to reproduce, which you can see all around you. What you don't see as often is the "responsible" part. That means treating the gift of sex with the respect it deserves. Reserving it for husbands and wives alone. Those married couples must also cherish it by not tearing apart the 2 integral halves of the marital act: unitive and procreative. The unitive aspect is a way for spouses to renew their marriage vows and show their love for one another. "By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its ordination towards man's most high calling to parenthood." Most people are all in favor of the unitive side, but balk at the procreative side.
Most of us would recognize certain disordered behaviors if we saw them. Less serious, perhaps, but disordered. Chewing a mouthful of food for the flavor and then spitting it out because they're on a diet, is one example. Or going so far as to eat an entire meal and then vomit to avoid weight gain. That's what anorexics do----they eat for the comfort of the food, but don't want what comes with it. We know that's an illness. Food has 2 purposes---enjoyment and nutrition. Why is it any less disordered to have sex (with a spouse or not!), but not want to experience the natural fruit of that act?
As it says in Humanae Vitae, it is not necessary for every marital act to result in a child. In fact, God gave women rhythms in their cycles of fertile and infertile periods for this very reason. It is perfectly acceptable to make use of the infertile phases and NOT the fertile phases if there are serious reasons to avoid a pregnancy. But in that way, each marital act remains open to the transmission of new life. Just knowing that a new life could result each time you are with your spouse gives you new respect for that spouse and the beauty of the act. Using any form of contraception deliberately frustrates the procreative side of sex and fundamentally changes it. Believe me, from someone who has seen it from both sides, there is a huge difference!
"The teaching of the Church on the regulations of birth, which promulgates the divine law, will easily appear to many to be difficult or even impossible of actuation. And indeed, like all great beneficent realities, it demands serious engagement and much effort, individual, family and social effort. More than that, it would not be practicable without the help of God, who upholds and strengthens the good will of men. Yet, to anyone who reflect well, it cannot but be clear that such efforts ennoble man and are beneficial to the human community."
Can you imagine if contraception were outlawed (again---it wasn't always legal), and there were greater risks associated with extra-marital sex? There would be more respect for women, not less. Contraception strips us of our very womanhood and makes us simply objects of lust. It doesn't really make us more powerful because we can control our "sexual health". There would be far fewer out-of-wedlock babies where the father is not in the picture. Men would be more inclined to shoulder the responsibility of a family if they knew from the beginning that a family could result!
Men and women are equal in dignity before the Lord, our Creator, but women are special because they are the ones who actually get to carry that new life within them. and nurture it. It makes me sad that so many women are willing to be oppressed by contraception and don't recognize it.
Of course, I recognize that many Catholics don't understand the Church teaching against contraception and how beautiful it is. Non-Catholics just think we're stuck in the dark ages and accept what society teaches without much consideration of the alternatives. When my husband of 4 years said that he had read Humanae Vitae and could no longer use contraception, I was floored. I refused to "have a baby every year just because the Pope said I should!" Ouch. That was hateful and un-informed. OTOH, I had heard about Natural Family Planning and was willing to try it since we were unhappy with all the contraceptives we had tried. Let me tell you, opening the doors to God by respecting His procreative and unitive act changed my life and my marriage. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever done---to say Yes to my husband and the Lord.
It's a beautiful little work which I think explains clearly the beauty of marriage and the responsibility of husbands and wives who are "the free and responsible collaborators of God the Creator." God has given us an incredible gift in this ability to share in the act of creation. We are able to create new life, just as He did with Adam and Eve. The love of a man and woman, when expressed physically, creates life, just as the love of the Father and the Son brought forth the Holy Spirit.
God generously gave us this freedom to reproduce, which you can see all around you. What you don't see as often is the "responsible" part. That means treating the gift of sex with the respect it deserves. Reserving it for husbands and wives alone. Those married couples must also cherish it by not tearing apart the 2 integral halves of the marital act: unitive and procreative. The unitive aspect is a way for spouses to renew their marriage vows and show their love for one another. "By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its ordination towards man's most high calling to parenthood." Most people are all in favor of the unitive side, but balk at the procreative side.
Most of us would recognize certain disordered behaviors if we saw them. Less serious, perhaps, but disordered. Chewing a mouthful of food for the flavor and then spitting it out because they're on a diet, is one example. Or going so far as to eat an entire meal and then vomit to avoid weight gain. That's what anorexics do----they eat for the comfort of the food, but don't want what comes with it. We know that's an illness. Food has 2 purposes---enjoyment and nutrition. Why is it any less disordered to have sex (with a spouse or not!), but not want to experience the natural fruit of that act?
As it says in Humanae Vitae, it is not necessary for every marital act to result in a child. In fact, God gave women rhythms in their cycles of fertile and infertile periods for this very reason. It is perfectly acceptable to make use of the infertile phases and NOT the fertile phases if there are serious reasons to avoid a pregnancy. But in that way, each marital act remains open to the transmission of new life. Just knowing that a new life could result each time you are with your spouse gives you new respect for that spouse and the beauty of the act. Using any form of contraception deliberately frustrates the procreative side of sex and fundamentally changes it. Believe me, from someone who has seen it from both sides, there is a huge difference!
"The teaching of the Church on the regulations of birth, which promulgates the divine law, will easily appear to many to be difficult or even impossible of actuation. And indeed, like all great beneficent realities, it demands serious engagement and much effort, individual, family and social effort. More than that, it would not be practicable without the help of God, who upholds and strengthens the good will of men. Yet, to anyone who reflect well, it cannot but be clear that such efforts ennoble man and are beneficial to the human community."
Can you imagine if contraception were outlawed (again---it wasn't always legal), and there were greater risks associated with extra-marital sex? There would be more respect for women, not less. Contraception strips us of our very womanhood and makes us simply objects of lust. It doesn't really make us more powerful because we can control our "sexual health". There would be far fewer out-of-wedlock babies where the father is not in the picture. Men would be more inclined to shoulder the responsibility of a family if they knew from the beginning that a family could result!
Men and women are equal in dignity before the Lord, our Creator, but women are special because they are the ones who actually get to carry that new life within them. and nurture it. It makes me sad that so many women are willing to be oppressed by contraception and don't recognize it.
Of course, I recognize that many Catholics don't understand the Church teaching against contraception and how beautiful it is. Non-Catholics just think we're stuck in the dark ages and accept what society teaches without much consideration of the alternatives. When my husband of 4 years said that he had read Humanae Vitae and could no longer use contraception, I was floored. I refused to "have a baby every year just because the Pope said I should!" Ouch. That was hateful and un-informed. OTOH, I had heard about Natural Family Planning and was willing to try it since we were unhappy with all the contraceptives we had tried. Let me tell you, opening the doors to God by respecting His procreative and unitive act changed my life and my marriage. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever done---to say Yes to my husband and the Lord.
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