Career Planning

I belong to a private FB group for my 30th high school reunion which is coming up this fall.  I'm not very active there because I'm kinda busy here at home, but someone posted a clipping from an old school newspaper the other day that was very interesting.  It was a list of seniors with their response to the question:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

As I scrolled down the list, not knowing if my name would be on the incomplete list, I tried to remember what I might have said.  I fully expected it to say Lawyer since I remember discussing the same question in English class that year.  Evidently, I only wanted to marry a Lawyer since, when I found my name, it said, "A Mommy."

I was honestly floored that I said such a thing, not because it wasn't true, but because it seems like such a lame thing to say to another senior in high school where we are all trying desperately to be cool.  At least, I was! I certainly never thought that I meant it times 6, either.  I can only think that the reporter who asked me must have been a good friend that I wouldn't have felt judged by.

I've been a mom for over 23 years now, if you count the months of that first pregnancy---and I definitely do---and this career of mine has shaped me in more ways than I would have thought possible.  No, we don't have to go into the physical shaping, or reshaping, that has occurred.  Suffice it to say that I'm no longer the willowy 21 year-old that I was on my wedding day!

I have learned over and over to put my own needs last, until I crashed and saw that I needed to put my needs a little higher up on the list.  I've seen how much easier it becomes to do without the things I think I need or want when the children have more urgent needs. (Easier, not easy)  Or when the needs and goals of the family as a whole dictate what we do.

Most importantly, I've learned that I don't do any of this mothering on my own.  I've been lucky enough to have an awesome husband who comes from an awesome family and has had a pretty good handle on  how a family runs.  I've also discovered along the way that the Almighty and his Blessed Mother are pretty indispensable while parenting:  someone to tell all my troubles to, someone to ask beg help from, someone to emulate.

I'm going to be leaning on Them a lot more in the coming days (and years) as the first one leaves the nest this week, and we begin the first full week of our homeschool year.  How can it be that at one time I had 6 children at home, with the oldest in 8th grade and no end to it in sight, and now I have only 2 students, and 4 years left of my homeschooling career?

I can't help but wonder what career God has planned for me next!

Someone Missed Me

I heard the other day that someone missed my 7 Quick Takes on Friday.  It's nice to know I'm missed, but I think he's a little biased.  Maybe.

Here's a little update:

~~~It was a little busy last week.  It always is, but especially on Thursdays when I have American Heritage Girls.  Lots of stuff gets crammed into that day so I'm a little crazy.

~~~Friday morning I spent getting ready for our co-op in the afternoon, and doing a little, essential schoolwork with the kids.  I'm in charge of props and costumes for our little show on January 1.  Usually, there's a small army of experiences sew-ers, if not actual seamstresses, to help.  Not this year.

~~~Tom has his annual Fall Festival coming up, which isn't as fun as it might sound.  It's a piano competition where he plays 2 pieces for just a couple of judges.  He also has a very difficult duet to perform, so we've been trying to squeeze in several extra rehearsals with his partner in the past week.

~~~Gus is 13 weeks now, and he seems to have doubled in size, but I know he can't be more than 5 lbs.  Although, when you think about it....6lbs. would be double his original size!!!  He's almost a dog, now.  Still very much a demon with his dangerous teeth.  He's obviously very smart and has learned quite a few commands, but he's, just as obviously, extremely stubborn and mouthy.  He bites people way too much, and it worries me, and I get frustrated with him, and that doesn't help the situation at all.

~~~I'm also frustrated with The Dog Whisperer, whose book, How to Raise the Perfect Dog makes me a little crazy.  He starts with the perfect dog!  Carefully examining the litter to pick the right temperament and energy level.  He doesn't tell you what to do when you already have the imperfect dog with the wrong temperament.

~~~Book Club was on Sunday where we discussed Unbroken, which was really a great read.  I highly recommend it.

~~~Here are a couple of pictures from our AHG camping trip 2 weekends ago.  The first is a yurt.  They have yurts at this campground, and several of us were quite enamored of them.  We decided to have a leaders' retreat one of these days and stay in the yurts which sleep 6.

Standing atop the earthen dam.

That looks like 6....See ya later!

Happy New Year to Me!

Yesterday was such a pleasant day! It was my birthday, for those of you who don't know! But I didn't want to do a "Happy Birthday to this wonderful person in my life" post. So, here I am today to tell you about it!

It was just an ordinary day, really. I learned a long time ago that if I expect everyone to spoil me rotten and do things for me all day, then it will be a really. bad. day. But if I go about my ordinary business and do what needs to be done, it will be fine.

So, I started my day as usual with a workout with the Master of My World. Okay, not "as usual" because I've been a total slacker this summer. But, out we went into the dark, early morning and did our sprints past the sleeping neighbors' houses. We didn't talk much because the sprinting doesn't leave time or breath for speaking, but we enjoyed being together.

I started the laundry, as usual, cleaned up my bathroom (not usual!) and had breakfast. Then I took the Pipster to the orthopedist to see if he had broken his wrist on Friday night. When he came in crying and holding his arm, I was pretty sure he had broken it because it was a little too much like last summer when he broke his arm! This time, it wasn't bad enough to be obvious, but moms can just tell, you know.

Now, I also know that not every break requires a trip to the ER or Children's Hospital or even the Urgent Care center (especially not there because they just xray it, say it's broken, and send you on your way with a splint or a brace with an admonishment to see an orthopedist on Monday). Even my friend the ER Dr. has been known to wait a really long time when he wasn't sure a bone was broken!

After shelling out the big bucks for those braces they use a couple of times, I started keeping them in my first aid kit. Fortunately (?!) we just happened to have a left-handed brace in the right size from when TMax broke his wrist a couple of years ago. So, we slapped that puppy on and sent him to bed. Saturday, I discovered that our new orthopedist does not have Saturday hours. AND I discovered that Madden did not need his appointment that was already scheduled for Monday morning, so I decided to pull the old patient switch on them. They weren't real thrilled with that, but they saw him anyway. It gave us another day or so to watch him and decide if it was broken, but I was pretty sure, judging from his pain level, that it was.

Wait a second, I thought this post was about me and my birthday! Well, you see, it's not about me and it shouldn't be because that just leads to disappointment.

Anyway, back to the orthopedist yesterday----Pipster has a minor buckle fracture of his ulna...radius...the bigger one, but he doesn't need a cast, just that great, free, brace that he was already wearing. And we don't even have to go back in for a recheck because the Dr. would just press on it and ask if it hurts, which I think I'm fully qualified to do myself. Since I'm Dr. Mom.

Home to laundry and then KT and I went out to A Classy Clutter to find a birthday present for her to give me. We found lots of stuff for her, and we found a new antique mall that we weren't aware of, and we spent hours wandering through it, but we didn't find anything affordable that I was dying to have. Don't you think it's terribly hard to pick out something for yourself when you know someone is ready to buy it? Harder than using a gift card which I also find challenging. However, we had a really good time there, and we didn't have any whiny little ones to mar experience, because you know how little ones HATE dragging through boring stores where they can't touch anything or buy anything for themselves!

We dropped off stuff at Goodwill; we left her car at CarMax to get a little problem fixed, and we went to Target to pick up a couple of things where we also got some pick-me-ups at Starbucks. There we finally found my present, and we came home. Exhausted.

Fortunately, at this point I was free to relax because KT insisted on making dinner. So, I did relax for the rest of the evening while they made fabulous fontina fondue using a new recipe from her Italian cookbook. After our yummy dinner and my cappuccino chocolate chunk cheesecake that LP and I had made Sunday afternoon, we watched a couple of episodes of I Love Lucy, which is what KT ended up getting me at Target. I didn't fold any laundry, and I didn't quilt because I was resting my hands, but that's another post.

So there you have it: practically every boring detail of my 45th birthday. It wasn't spectacular. I didn't get a massage or a manicure. I didn't have my every whim catered to all day long. But I did spend the day doing ordinary, necessary, and fun things with my family. I enjoyed every minute of it and I'm so grateful that God has given me each and every one of them. That's the best gift of all!

A Day to Remember

After lots of days of rain and lots of longing to go strawberry picking , we finally had enough of a break in the weather to go. The farm is near UGA so we were going to either take KT with us, or just visit afterwards. Because of her exam schedule we ended up picking her up post-exam and going back to her place to load a bunch of her stuff in the car since she's coming home tomorrow (!) after her last exam.



It was a lovely day for strawberry picking---any later in the day and it would have been way too hot.


The four of us had a lovely time looking at the animals, picking a bucketful of delicious berries each, and playing in the "cornbox" was the most fun. Like a sandbox, only cornier.




They had a lot of fun in there and everyone took a turn getting buried. Except maybe the Little Princess because Pipster immediately threw a bucket of corn on her face, none too gently, and she decided she didn't like that game! Small wonder.

Children of the Corn

After berries and fun we headed for Athens to eat lunch and pick up KT. Loaded up the car and headed home. It was a very pleasant, though slightly longer drive home, listening to the ipod and eating the occasional strawberry, when:

The shattering conclusion to our trip.

Just 2 miles from the safety of our driveway! (We're all fine, except for maybe a little whiplash.) We were rear-ended by a Dodge Ram pulling a (mercifully empty) trailer. And of course we hit the car in front of us, too, since he hit us so hard.

KT, I'm afraid your boxes may be full of shattered glass....and you should shake out those clothes and shoes carefully before you wear them!)

Airbags did NOT deploy, which is surprising considering the severity of the hit, so I hit my head on the steering wheel and the paramedics recommended a trip to the ER just to get checked out since the dude totally destroyed the back end of my car. So my children had to see this:

That's not blood on my neck, just a tag on the collar!

I don't know why they had to take a picture, but there it is. I thought it was way too much in the way of precautions, and I felt so sorry for the very apologetic young man who hit us. He was pretty devastated when they put me on the stretcher, bless his heart. And he had to drive all the way home to Alabama after that.

That's our rear window all over his hood, and in his cab, too!

I'm fine, though. All my xrays and CT scans came out negative. I just have a big ole goose egg on my forehead, and lots of drugs for the pains that they tell me are coming! Children seem to be fine, although they may be a little sore, too, down the road.


Laudate Dominum, y'all! God is good.

100 Things About Me

I had no idea I was so close to 100 posts. It's December 6 and I just noticed I have 98, so it must be time to start thinking about this. And I know you're excited because you've been waiting anxiously to see if I would post 100 Things About Me that you didn't already know!

I don't know of any other way to do this than to start at the beginning and work my way through my life. We'll see what gems I come up with!

1. I was born in Oklahoma.
2. I have 1 brother and 1 sister.
3. My parents divorced when I was 4 or 5 (or both).
4. I moved to Virginia in 1st grade and I love it there.
5. I've lived in the Atlanta area for the last 12 years and I'm starting to love it here. Not sure if GA will ever surpass VA in beauty, however.
6. I'm bored with this already. Are you?
7. If you wanted to know 100 things about me, you could just read the previous 99 posts because I'm sure there are at least 100 things there.
8. I came into full communion with the Catholic Church on April 6, 1996.
9. TMax was baptized at the same time.
10. I learned from my stepmother that "Idle hands are the devil's workshop," so I rarely sit down to watch tv without something to do---knitting or folding laundry. Especially if it's a bad movie---then it's not a total waste of time!
11. Three of my children were born at home and 3 in the hospital.
12. I'll take home over a hospital any time!
13. Have I told you that dh delivered ("caught" I should say) TMax who was born during the Blizzard of '96 and the midwife wasn't there yet? She arrived 5 minutes later.
14. Homeschooling is like the marines; it's the hardest job you'll ever love.
15. I've been homeschooling for 14 years! But that would be much more impressive if I had actually educated someone all the way through high school. Those are the real champions!
16. My mom was an incredibly talented oil painter, but I long to try my hand at photography and watercolors. I'd like to take a class in both. Don't know when I'll find the time for that!
17. I'm only up to 17???? This is hard. I'm tempted to just skip it until I get to 1000, but that would probably be worse.
18. I remember that I loved to walk to my dad's university office when I was little (maybe 4?) because he had a cardboard castle covered in foil with a drawbridge that worked and a little electric light in it. I thought it was the greatest thing.
19. Nearby, we would stop at a drugstore for a cherry coke (you know, from a fountain with real cherry syrup in it!).
20. My family has mafia ties. Don't ask for details; I don't know them!
21. My uncle was kidnapped and held for ransom. I've seen the ransom note and I think it had something to do with #20.
22. Those are really about me, are they? Does telling about my family count?
23. #6, #17, and #17 should tell you something about me. I don't like pointless exercises and I'll do anything to get it done faster! Maybe I also don't like talking about myself.
24. I'm very good at spatial relationships. Just let me show you how good I am at packing the back of a minivan with 8 people's things!
25. I'm a logical thinker. I love "Cheaper by the Dozen" and Mr. Gilbraith's motion studies. I'm all for saving motions/work. Touch it once. I like to do things as efficiently as possible.
26. That doesn't mean I always do it. I am bad about leaving things "for now".
27. I have a beaded/sequined Advent calendar that I started making about 15 years ago. Unfinished. I think I'm giving it to KT for Christmas. She can finish it, or throw it away. Merry Christmas, hon!
28. I have dreams of living in the country. I lived on a rented farm during middle school and it was a great place to grow up. Lots of fresh air and hard work, mowing the grass with a regular gas mower, not a riding mower. Taking care of chickens. Helping in the huuuuuge garden. Running through fields, jumping onto those big rolls of hay, running through cornfields and getting lost and extremely dirty!
29. I loved living in that drafty, old farmhouse with a wraparound porch. Sunbathing on the tin roof outside my bedroom window. Playing in the hammock outside. Exploring all the different cubbies and rooms in that incredible house.
30. I did not love chicken butchering.
31. I used to refuse to eat the fresh brown eggs because they were gross.
32. Now I refuse to eat the eggs from the grocery store and prefer to get them from the farmer's market where I know what wonderful conditions the hens live in.
33. Back to the farm---we had 4 bedrooms and 1 bath with a claw-foot tub.
34. One bedroom had the doorway to the big, scary attic. We all refused to sleep in that room, so it remained empty.
35. So my sister slept in a sleeping porch (I guess that's what you call it) off my room. She had to go through my room to get there and the 3 walls that were not attached to my room were all windows. It was cold in the winter! Though I'm guessing the whole house was pretty darn cold consider how big and old it was.
36. And we were very poor at the time. I remember complaints about the price of heating oil and the need to fill the tank. We spent a lot of time in back half of the house where there was a large fireplace in the dining room. So, we built fires and kept the doors closed.
37. This was in Loudoun Country, Virginia.
38. My stepfather left when I was in 8th grade. We got to go visit him at his new house and see his new baby. Nice.
39. After that we moved to Fairfax County, VA, where I went to the same high school as dh.
40. No, we didn't date in high school. He had another girlfriend, but I dated one of his friends.
41. Also dated the son of an NBC news correspondent from the neighboring high school. I went to the Junior Prom with him (our 2nd date) and I still remember his birthday every year. It drives dh nuts, probably as much as "his old girlfriend Diana" drives me nuts. lol.
42. 42??? Are you kidding me? Not even halfway there? It's fun walking down memory lane and all, but I need a break. You too? Just come back later. You know you want to.
43. I ran track in high school.
44. The mile and the high jump.
45. That amazes my kids that I could high jump.
46. Me too.
47. I have great memories of going canoeing on the Shenandoah River with my church in high school. We went every year and had a blast.
48. When I went to college, my mom sold our house and moved to Manhattan.
49. During the summers after my first and second year of college I lived with her old friends in Virginia.
50. After my 3rd year I spent the summer in New York with her and worked at Lord & Taylor.
51. I slept on the floor in the tiny 1 bedroom apartment that she shared with a college friend, right under the window a/c unit that sprayed a toxic mist into the room and onto me.
52. I got sick that summer.
53. Mom and I took a taxi to the emergency room and found out that I had pneumonia.
54. "Walking" pneumonia because it was only in one lung.
55. So we "walked" back to the apartment! I still think that's hysterical. It was a long weary walk and we stopped many times to rest, but I'm sure she couldn't afford another cab ride after the hospital visit. And I survived. Nor do I blame her for it.
56. Blue is my favorite color. All different shades of blue, from periwinkle to teal.
57. My favorite food is chocolate.
58. My favorite ice cream is something that has chunks of chocolate, nuts, and ribbons of fudge or caramel.
59. Candy? Basically the same thing---chocolate, nuts, ribbons of caramel. Sounds like a Snickers! Yummmm.
60. I love to sing. I sang in the choir in high school.
61. I also sang in the Madrigals group in high school. We met at 6:30 a.m. once or twice a week and sang a capella. There were only 6 or 8 of us and we had to wear medieval costumes.
62. I sang in the Women's Chorus at The University.
63. I was also one of the early members of a group called the Virginia Belles---just 6 or 8 of us who sang a capella, again. That was a lot of fun!
64. I cantor at my parish now. It's sometimes a humiliating disaster, but that's life. Pray for your cantors and be sympathetic!
65. I was on the swim team in high school for a short time. We had to get up and practice at the nearby Club at 6:30 a.m., in winter. It was cold and hard. When we started working on the butterfly, I quit. I still can't do that stroke.
66. I'm a decent swimmer, but when I'm doing freestyle I feel like I'm going to drown. I think it's a touch of claustrophobia, surrounded by all that water, you know!
67. 2/3 finished. Are you still reading?
68. Kathleen is waiting with baited breath. I hope she decides to breathe because this is taking too long.
69. After 44 years you'd think I'd have more to say about myself!
70. I've been married half my life.
71. We lived in Williamsburg, VA for the first 3 years of marriage.
72. I love Williamsburg. What a lovely, small town. It's a great place to raise kids.
73. But it gets hot and sticky in the summer. Last time we were there for a visit, it was 105 degrees. I thought we would all melt!
74. I remember going to Williamsburg when I was little. I loved it then, too.
75. I love roller coasters!
76. When we went to Busch Gardens, Williamsburg (I think we got in free as city residents!), dh and I would ride the Loch Ness Monster repeatedly until the line got to be more than 2 minutes long!
77. I'll still ride coasters repeatedly if there is no line.
78. I can live without some of the super-coasters they build now. Like Superman. I'm not sure why I don't care for it. Maybe it is because it breaks down constantly and I don't feel safe on it.
79. I wanted to cry last summer when LP wouldn't let me go on the Coyote Canyon coaster.
80. Yeah, I'm childish. But you have to be like a child to get into heaven!
81. But when we met up with Tmax and Pipster, we were able to take turns riding the Ninja (yes, repeatedly) and watching LP because there was no line. I had never seen it like that, but all my kids (and my chiropractor) say it's because it is the hardest on your skeleton. But that made me happy---getting several good rides in.
82. Did I say that I love musicals? Even my kids do, and they're unique among their friends. My kids have seen movies that none of their peers have heard of.
83. I read Gone with the Wind in 8th grade. My favorite book and movie for a long time.
84. I tried to read The Lord of the Rings in high school, but couldn't make it through.
85. I read it for the first time when we moved here (1996?) and have read it about 10 times since then. Every time is better!
86. When I'm in a reading mood, I'll get stuck on a theme. I discovered Nicholas Sparks when I read his memoir, 3 Weeks with my Brother, and then I read the rest of his books. The memoir was the best.
87. Then I went on a Dean Koontz kick and read many of his until I got too creeped out by one and had to put it down. I think that was Intensity. Too intense.
88. I don't just read fluff. I read The River of Doubt about Teddy Roosevelt's adventure after his presidency and then got lost in David McCullough's Roosevelt bio and all of this other history books. One of my favorites was The Great Bridge about the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge.
89. TMax reminds me of my Everest binge. After talking about mountain climbing with my brother when we were together during Mom's last days, he suggested I read a couple of books about the 1996 disastrous Everest expedition.
90. I think I read about 15 different Everest stories. Many of them were by different people on that same expedition.
91. But I still can't tell you the elevation of Mt. Everest.
92. Another favorite is the Horatio Hornblower series. I love all those books---and the made-for-tv movies with Ioan Gruffud (Yo-an Griffith) rock, too. Too bad they didn't finish the series.
93. I forgot to tell you about the awesome attic in that farmhouse. (Did you skip to the end? Go back and read them all!) It was huge, the entire thing had a floor and if I lived there now I would have it finished into bedrooms or a giant playroom. There was some great stuff up there, during the daytime. There was only scary stuff at night!
94. We had a dirt cellar and a smokehouse, too. My brother hung his rabbit skins in the smokehouse. Rabbits that he raised and then shot because they couldn't survive on their own in the wild. Seriously? Rabbits don't know how to eat grass and run and hide in the wild? Fortunately, he didn't eat my pet or my sister's.
95. I worked at a movie theater in high school
96. It was a great job and my favorite part was going in to "check the theater" during my favorite parts of the movies. You know, the good songs from "Grease"---we knew exactly when they were during the films.
97. Grease was my favorite movie. Still is. Shhh. Don't tell my kids because I don't want them to see it!
98. We drank (free) sprite and use strawberry twizzlers for straws.
99. No one ever read the big sign at the box office that said, "Please hold onto your money. It blows away." And they'd get mad that they had to chase their money across the plaza when it blew away.
1000. Well, it feels like a thousand! And #99 wasn't strictly about me either, but I'm pretty desperate to finish this ordeal.

Have I lost my 12 readers now?

More Hair Horrors

Kathleen made me laugh with her hair story. I don't have a scanner, thank goodness, so I can't post a picture of myself with my glasses and bad hair. But she did remind me of my worst haircut ever. This last one was just a bump in the road, but my first real attempt at style in 7th grade was the worst.

I remember my mom took us to the hairdresser's right next to the Giant in Leesburg, VA. My sister and I both got our hair done. Now, Sis has gorgeous red (well, back then it was RED, but now it has darkened to a beautiful auburn), naturally curly hair. Hair that does whatever you want it to. Hair that stays wherever you put it. Hair that the rest of us hate!

My hair was a boring shade of brown, silky, smooth, and straight. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.
"Straight as a stick," Mom always said. When I left the hairdresser that day, it was beautifully coiffed into feathers and curls and I was ecstatic. I had never been so gorgeous! Then came the next day.

I don't know what magic she had used on my head, but it was gone. Gone! I tell you! She had cut my hair into strange chunks, which I honestly don't think were legitimate hairstyling techniques. And without her product magic and magic styling wand, my hair just hung in those strange chunks. We curled my hair half to death, but the slightest touch would make those delicate curls invert and hang. Straight down. While Sis had those perfect sausage curls around her face.

I don't know how I survived the horrors of middle school. The worst years of my life. And the hair didn't help. I was soooo happy when feathers stopped being in style.

Now that I've matured, a little, I've learned to work with my hair's naturally tendency to be straight. I've given up fighting the battle for curls, although that's a lot easier now that there are so many products available. It drives my hairdresser nuts! I won't perm it anymore or even color it. I'm just waiting for the gray to come in so I can embrace it. I may get him to PUT some gray in if it doesn't hurry up, but not cover it up! lol! I'm not his favorite customer. Oldest, maybe. But not his favorite. He still charges me his old rate from when he worked at the Hair Cuttery. I won't get anything extra done, and I come in twice for the same haircut!

You asked for it. You got it.

Here are the quick photos we took yesterday before the camera battery died. Don't ask about the sizes. While I could figure this stuff out, given enough time, I have other things to do this a.m.!

I hope you think it's gorgeous ;-), but if you don't you can keep it to yourself. My ego is fragile enough.

How to get a Gorgeous New Haircut, part deux

Read Part 1 here, or just scroll down!

8. Find a new hairdresser who will listen to everything you say, not just the parts he agrees with, and who will give you a haircut that is slightly less boring and unstylish than this one.

8. Call back your cranky faithful hairdresser and cry explain that you must not have made yourself clear and ask if he could please try to fix his mistake the back of your hair.

9. Show him the pictures AGAIN.

10. Let him cut your hair while your 6 yo troublemaker darling daughter begs you to show him how you can whistle like a teakettle.

11. Refuse to whistle for him despite the free re-cut.

12. Leave with a newly gorgeous haircut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shannon thinks we should all tell our hair horror stories. So I'm tagging:

Shannon, because it was her idea and I'm sure she has a story to tell!
Kalynne, because she has horror stories about everything!
BigMama, because she's the expert on all things fashionable and I'm sure some disasters lurk in her hair history.
Kathleen, because I've seen her hair lots of different ways and she tells a great story.
and Rachel, because she must have had something besides a chin-length bob at some point that made her swear off change. ;-) Not that she doesn't look great in her bob!

You get bonus points for photos.

How to Get a Gorgeous New Haircut

1. Make an appointment with a slightly grumpy, ex-New Yorker, Italian hairdresser (that you've been going to for years).

2. Take a few minutes to peruse the Short Hairstyles mag on the table while he finishes up with the previous customer.

3. Find, not one, but 3 pictures of similar haircuts with side and back views so he'll know exactly how you want it to look.

4. Let him cut your hair.

5. Chat about his stock market investments.

6. Thank him and pay him (handsomely, I might add) for his services.

7. Go home and take a good look at your stylish new do, especially the back.

8. Find a new hairdresser who will listen to everything you say, not just the parts he agrees with, and who will give you a haircut that is slightly less boring and unstylish than this one.

No, you don't get a picture.