Thursday, May 17, 2012

Pondering My Purpose

We're winding up the schoolyear here, and books are dropping off the schedule one by one.  That's always a great feeling when the daily load gets lighter, but this year it seems to be balanced by the fact that I'm still very busy. 

Maybe next week will be the last "busy" week.  The local schools get out tomorrow and morning swim practices will start next week.  I still have choir and the big End of Year banquet for American Heritage Girls, but then those will be done, or we'll just move into a low-key mode.

Despite being so busy, running in and out of the house all day, trying to keep up with laundry and chores, I'm pondering my purpose in life.  Is this really it?  Is it raising my 6 kids (who are mostly raised, at this point)?  Is it home schooling them?  Keeping house for my loving husband?  Singing in the choir?

I look around at my friends, at the blogosphere, and see women who are working, who have active, money-making niche blogs, or who have a fabulous skill that they share with the world.  And it provides them with an income at the same time!  I keep wondering what I could do to bring in some money to the household.  (And you know, just typing that feels so crass and shallow!)  Is it that I just want to feel important?  Do I want more money so my children can have more stuff and less of me?  I barely have time for the things I am already doing, though I'm fairly certain that they are part of God's will and I haven't said 'yes' to things recklessly. 

But where is that Other Thing that promises to fulfill me and answer all my hopes and dreams for the perfect life?

So, I keep pondering, looking for that perfect job opportunity or craft that will fulfill my needs (both pecuniary and personal), and I keep getting the same prompt:

Pray more!
Pray more, and the answers will be given to you!

If I pray more, it will sanctify the work I already do.
If I pray more, I'll know if what I am doing is what I am meant to do.
If I pray more, I will be fulfilled in all the ways that count---without changing a single, other thing.

Maybe prayer is the key!


  1. Pray more. :-)

    When I think of all the praying I could be doing, I feel like such a looser. there can never be enough prayer.

  2. hmmm. I don't have an answers either, but there's comfort in hearing your questions :)

    I, too, find myself praying more.


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