Lent Update

I'll bet you thought I gave up blogging for Lent! Not really; it has just fallen way on the back-burner lately for lots of reasons. I think I'm coming back....because I need an outlet for me. I am finding myself to be in a weird phase of life with 4 of my 6 children out of the house and the remaining two frequently in their rooms 90% of the time when they ARE home! Strangely, my life no longer revolves around my children and I've been at loose ends a little, lately.

I could get back to painting the trim in the basement, which I abandoned around Thanksgiving because Holidays, you know. I'm going to do that because it needs to be done, and I'm am also going to do some other things for myself.

I have plans to knit (of course), and sew, and read, and walk (a lot), and maybe blog. It is time to start remembering who I was before children....Well, maybe not. I am a different, hopefully better, person than I was before children, so I can't ever go back to that, but I can test the waters and find out who this new person is when she's not busy with Mom Stuff.

Jesse Tree Day 6

My favorite Advent tradition is reading daily scripture passages that start with creation and cover all the major episodes in salvation history through the birth of Christ. I hope you will enjoy sharing these readings at your dinner table with the lighted Advent wreath as much as I have over the years. 

Your light will come, O Jerusalem. The Lord will dawn on you in radiant beauty. We shall see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God. The sign of the cross shall appear in the heavens, when our lord shall come to judge the world.   ----A Prayer Book of Catholic Devotions

Day 6: Isaac

Ornament: a bundle of sticks in the form of a cross

Reading: {Short form in brackets}

{Genesis 22: 2-6, 9-12}

Genesis 22: 1-19

The Command to Sacrifice Isaac

22 After these things God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” 2 He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Mori′ah, and offer him there as a burnt offering upon one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” 3 So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac; and he cut the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. 4 On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place afar off. 5 Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the ass; I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.” 6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it on Isaac his son;[a] and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. 7 And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here am I, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” 8 Abraham said, “God will provide himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.” So they went both of them together.

9 When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar, upon the wood. 10 Then Abraham put forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” 12 He said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” 13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called the name of that place The Lord will provide;[b] as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.”[c]

15 And the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven,16 and said, “By myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will indeed bless you, and I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore. And your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies, 18 and by your descendants shall all the nations of the earth bless themselves, because you have obeyed my voice.” 19 So Abraham returned to his young men, and they arose and went together to Beer-sheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beer-sheba.[d]

Our Nest is Blessed

“To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others.” 
Saint Pope John Paul II 

Our nest IS blessed. Not just by the physical gift of the 6 children pictured, but also by the gift of the lost baby not with us.  We are blessed by the personalities and circumstances that helped us grow from selfish youths into mature adults who think much less of ourselves than we otherwise would. 

Most of all, we are blessed by Christ the King, the God made Man whose majesty can only be glimpsed in the ocean behind His gifts. The numerous graces He has given may not be visible in a photograph, but they are there in abundance. Given and yet-to-be-given---there for the asking.

7 Quick Takes -- From Barf to Buckhead

---1---

There's nothing like working at the computer, and then getting up for a stretch and going to scratch the dog's belly, only, instead of the dog, you find a puddle (or two) of barf in his favorite chair.  Said barf is also dripping down the front of your pale, pink chair onto the carpet.

Yuck.

---2---

Once he adopted that chair as his, I started covering it with a drop cloth to keep it from getting too soiled, but that came to an end when he started eating it.  What do you do with a dog that insists on eating any bedding you give him?  

---3---

This is breaking my heart. I sometimes think about moving to where things are better (in my little world, that equals less traffic!), but it would involve uprooting the family and leaving our friends to go somewhere new.  But we'd still stay in our country.  The Christians in the Middle East have to leave everything---family, friends, country, their entire history, behind in order to escape.  Heartbreaking.

---4---

This is what I read this morning from St. Teresa of Avila.  I couldn't help but think of #3.

Alas, Lord, who is it that has dared to make this petition in the name of all? What a poor mediator am I, my daughters, to gain a hearing for you and to present your petition! When this Sovereign Judge sees how bold I am it may well move Him to anger, as would be both right and just. But behold, Lord, Thou are a God of mercy; have mercy upon this poor sinner, this miserable worm who is so bold with Thee. Behold my desires, my God, and the tears with which I beg this of Thee; forget my deeds, for Thy name's sake, and have pity upon all these souls who are being lost, and help Thy Church.  Do not permit more harm to be wrought to Christendom, Lord; give light to this darkness.

---5---

One space or two?  After a period, that is. Which camp are you in?  I'm shocked by the people who say two spaces are downright ugly!  It's just a tiny, white space....how can it be ugly? Chicago Manual of Style Online is not very helpful, but very firm.  Slate is unequivocally against the extra space.  Wikipedia, at least, explains the history and politely states that we don't need the extra space.  I don't know about you, but I've been typing and hitting that space bar twice for, at least, 35 years. (Just did it again) (Gah!) Old habits are really hard to break! (Urg!) I think one of these snarky, young, know-it-alls should just get AutoCorrect to delete the extra spaces.  It's that simple.

---6---

I never showed you these pictures of cute Meg with her two favorite birthday presents:

Jumping up and down in her coral (uh, orange) crocheted Toms.

Utterly amazed and delighted by Duck Tape.  Go figure.  ;-)

---7---

Apropos of nothing, this is just a cool shot in Buckhead  of a rather unusual building reflected onto another.  

Have a great weekend!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Join the fun at Jen's for more 7 Quick Takes!

Living in the Moment

Do you live in the moment?  Or are you a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person who goes from moment to moment simply reacting to the events around you? (me! me!)

So often, I have goals for the day, whether it is to get certain things checked off my list or to behave in a certain way---smile more, bark less---the list keeps me accountable.  While I'm pretty good at checking most things to-do off the list during the course of the day, behavioral goals seem to escape me.  I don't think it really works to make a list that says:

1. Avoid sweets
2. Be patient with Child A
3. Let go of your anger

I mean, if I'm patient the first time, can I check it off my list and then yell the next time?  Or is this a list that is never checked off?

I heard recently on the Taylor Marshall podcast (which you ought to listen to at least once since he gives good spiritual and practical tips) that you should make your short (3-4 items) to-do list during the course of your morning prayer so that you know what God's will is for you that day.  Again, I think it's pretty easy to do three things on your list and let other things wait when you know which ones take precedence.  

What is not so easy is resisting the temptation to yell, or to leave the cookies (today it's peppermint fudge) untouched.  Because...

• I can stop eating sweets when the fudge is gone, or tomorrow,
• I didn't get up set over that last infraction of the rules, but this one is really bad,
• I can forgive so-and-so, and be thankful for the lesson in humility, but can't I just tell him how I feel first?

Know what I mean?

Here's another example that has happened all too frequently over the years...You sit down to read a lesson, usually on religion, and the students start acting up.  Pretty soon, you're so frustrated that you have to walk away---too angry to give a proper lesson in Christianity.  If you don't do the lesson, you-know-wins; if you do the lesson while furious, I think he still wins.

So, when it comes to behavior modification (your own, that is) how do you pull yourself back into the moment and bring Jesus with you?  Sometimes, all too rarely, I'll throw out that prayer of desperation when things are really bad.  Other times, when it's just difficult but not terrible, I don't remember to pray or ask for help.  I just keep soldiering on.  Or worse, I don't even remember that I had a goal to be patient or stick to my diet.  My current feelings, whatever they are, just take over.

How do you keep yourself mindfully in the present?

Prayer Tips

A friend said the most amazing thing to me the other day---that she admired how I was so good about praying novenas and the rosary and sticking with it!  If that's what it looks like, I'm happy, but I know that is not at all the reality.  Any stick-to-itivitness that I've shown in recent months is purely grace that I would have to associate with having completed the 33 Days to Morning Glory and Consoling the Heart of Jesus retreats.

The other key to any progress in my prayer life is ROUTINE.  Without a routine, my prayer life goes exactly where you expect it to:  nowhere.  When I'm on vacation, or even having a busy weekend, I'm not usually saying any extra prayers beyond a morning offering and consecration renewal at bedtime.

I have completed several novenas in recent weeks, and that surprises me to no end.  Again, Grace. But I have done a couple of things differently.

These days I'm trying, really trying, to sit somewhere besides the computer when I first get up and I don't feel like interacting with "live" people.  It doesn't always work, but it's better, and it helps that the morning prayer books are in the same room as the computer, so I can just take my habitual direction and just go 2 steps to the left, instead of the right!  There are mornings when I really long to talk to Jesus, and I don't, and it shows.  :-(

Fives days a week, I have to get in the car to take people to school, or pick someone up, so I've gotten into a pretty good habit of making that first trip out Rosary Time.  I know myself well enough to know that if I don't do it on the first trip, I probably won't get to it.  Sometimes I pray it with the kids, but not always.  The rosary should be the priority, but I also like to give them time to talk to me.

I also try to pray the rosary when I walk the dog around the neighborhood.  For various reasons (like I'm a lazy slob!) that hasn't been happening much lately, but I've been driving, so it works.

The dog always needs a shorter walk in the late morning which has become the time that I pray novenas.  Yes, I walk and keep my nose in the prayer book!  I prefer a book to praying at the computer, but Pray More Novenas is a great resource if you don't mind praying at the computer or don't have the particular novena booklet at home.

Basically, tying certain activities to prayer has been the greatest help.  Weekly adoration has helped a lot, too.  There are times (ha!  every week, almost!) that I don't want to get up and go, but on the days I give in to my laziness, I invariably lie awake feeling guilty.  So, just do it.  God is good enough to make everything else work out during the day.

~~~

Another mom who was part of this conversation, lamented that they can't consecrate their home to the Two Hearts because they won't be able to follow through with the subsequent requirements: 

Frequent Holy Communion

Daily Family Rosary

Monthly Holy Hour

Daily Renewal of Consecration

(These are the requirements listed on our family certificate)

I can't keep the 10 Commandments perfectly, but I haven't give up trying!  I think the most important thing is to make the consecration and keep working at perfect fulfillment of the rules.   It is my fervent hope that the graces we've received will make up for the inevitable gaps in my parenting skills and prayer life!

I'm not surrounded by little ones anymore, so maybe this is all due to my age (urgh!), but that doesn't mean we didn't try when they were little.  There's never a perfect time that makes it easy to pray!  I have a good friend who used to pray more than one rosary per day as she did it while lying in bed with small children who wanted her with them as they went to sleep!

Think over your day and find those routine moments that lend themselves to prayer.  Keep track of Hail Mary's on paper throughout the day.  I sometimes pray Memorares for individuals, one at a time, while I'm pumping gas.  I'll pray for family members as I fold their laundry.  And no matter what your age, whenever you're awake in the middle of the night, pray.  Someone needs it.

7 Quick Takes on Gratitude

---1---

We had another morning reflection this week given by a great priest on his day off.  Thanks to his good friend the Holy Spirit, it was timely and repeated a theme that I had already been thinking and reading about!

---2---

The reflection was based on the story of the 10 lepers, which I'm sure you know.  Jesus healed the 10 and sent them to show themselves to the priest, but one came back to express his gratitude---the Samaritan, the one least expected to do so.  Jesus questioned where the other 9 were.

---3---

Jesus was offended that only one came back.  He was offended because He loves us so much, and it hurts when the gifts He gives us are ignored.  Don't you feel the same way when you work hard for your family and it goes unnoticed and unappreciated?  I know I do.  

A lack of gratitude is a sin against Charity.

---4---

Some obstacles to gratitude:

• We are too busy to notice or acknowledge those moments when we've been given a gift or protected from something bad happening.  How many times have you passed a pedestrian on the edge of the road and realized that if you had been reaching for your phone or your coffee you might have hit them?
• We have a sense of entitlement.  We receive gifts day in and day out, and we begin to expect those routine gifts.  
• We have "pending issues" with God---perhaps we feel that there was a time in our lives when he abandoned us.
• When times are good, we are not thankful.  Refer back to that sense of entitlement---we get used to things being good and we think they should always be this way!

---5---

How to form gratitude:

• Be grateful to others.  Take time to notice and say thank you.
• Spend 15 minutes once a week thinking of things that people have done for you.
• Write thank you notes---with a pen! on real paper!
• Spend your time while in line for communion thinking of things that God has given you.  You are about to receive a little piece of Heaven; it's like being in line to enter the Pearly Gates, so be grateful!

---6---

Some fruits of gratitude:

• It makes us more humble, and that sense of entitlement goes away.
• It takes off some of the pressure because we are not so independent, which makes us feel as if we are alone in the world with no one to lean on.
• Relieves stress

---7---

Work on cultivating gratitude in yourself and your children.  Your spouse can help by reminding the children of all you do for them---just as you should be reminding the children of the hard work of your spouse!!

Thank YOU for stopping by to read!  And thanks to everyone who comments also!  Have a great weekend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Join the fun at Jen's for more 7 Quick Takes!

On Beauty

"Why Beauty Matters" is one of the most thought-provoking things I've watched in a long time.  Thank you to the ladies of Like Mother, LIke Daughter who linked to it.  The hour-long documentary briefly touches on many types of art:  painting, sculpture, architecture, music, poetry.  Roger Scruton attempts to explain why we need beauty in our lives.

I probably could not have told you why I find certain types of art ugly or pointless, although some stuff that passes for "Art" these days is really nothing but grotesquery.  It's ugly and vulgar.  Most of us can agree on that.  I also could not have expressed why I find certain types of architecture ugly, and other types, which may be fairly plain and simple, attractive.

My soul craves beauty, however.  When I see a colorful dawn or sunset, I am readily reminded of the Creator and his majesty.  A peaceful landscape does the same thing.  I am reminded of my Lord, and my heart sighs with peace and joy.  And gratitude.  

Going to a museum these days can be a bit of a gamble as there are exhibits of more traditional are that are exceptional and others that are....not.  We can wander from painting to painting, or sculpture to sculpture, admiring the beauty of brushstrokes and colors, or the incredible way that a chunk of marble becomes the glistening form of a person.  Other galleries simply make us wonder how someone came up with the idea of doing whatever they did.  Maybe there are interesting colors and textures in some modern art, but that's not the same as true beauty.  Those galleries may be merely puzzling while others are the ones you rush through because there is nothing mesmerizing, nothing that links you to the eternal.

One interesting part of the documentary is his discussion of love and lust.  Love is beautiful, but lust is ugly.  Over the years I have found myself explaining to one child after another that pictures or statues of naked people are not (necessarily) shameful.  They learn from an early age that nakedness is wrong (maybe some of that is my attempts at teaching modesty, and much is from our culture), and I must explain that the human form is one of God's greatest, most beautiful creations, and that to admire that beauty is acceptable if we look at it that way.  It's all in how you look at a thing.

When I take the time to stop dwelling on the busy-ness of life long enough to look around me and see the beauty in people or things, I can't help but see God.  I appreciate his greatness.  True artists are blessed to be able to share in His creative gifts.

I have to ask why there is so little attempt to make the worship of the God who gave us so much beauty reflect Him?  Why is the (Novus Ordo) Mass so often just an attempt at feel-good brotherly love rather than music and actions that truly lift our souls to God?  That would truly change our culture---to have a Mass whose beauty transcends space and time and transports us to heaven.  In turn, we would carry that with us throughout the week (if we weren't compelled to return for a taste daily!), touching the lives of everyone we meet.

Do I make you feel less than...?

Great post by Simcha, over at The Register.   Go on, read it.

I would hate for anyone to think that my home is perfection, and that you can't measure up to my greatness!  This little spot is called A Shower of Roses because I want to talk about the good stuff that I enjoy, or the happy memories, or distract myself from the stresses.  Because I love St. Therese, too, but that's a different subject.  I'm like Charlotte (Waltzing Matilda) whom Simcha quotes in the article:

"[T]here are those of us who need to not focus on the struggling so much," she says, "Because if we do, we will be consumed by it."

So, don't be too in awe of me and my spinning or knitting skillz, because I'm struggling just like everyone else. (Totally tongue-in-cheek there, cuz I know you're not!)  In fact, if you ever wonder why I don't blog for a week, it's because there's a struggle going on.  It might be only in my head, but it's there!  It's probably just a to-do list that's a mile and a half long.  I'm not getting anything checked off because I'm spinning, but it's all weighing me down so I can't think of what to write about.   Or it's because I've added so much great content to my Feedly that all my thoughts are focused on what I read, not what I might write about!  Or, I might even want to rage about something in the political sphere, but I don't because I don't have the writing skills to go there.

I read a couple of decorating blogs---I would read more, but they're very dangerous for me---I've narrowed it down to just 2.  I might read an occasional post on another blog, but I won't subscribe because those have a very real tendency to make me feel bad about myself and my home.  The two I've kept have styles that I like for the most part, and they occasionally show us the real messes that they live with while they hyper-focus on some DIY project!

I try to remember that behind every perfect blogger is a mess.  It might be a physical, household mess, or it might be an internal, emotional mess, but there's a mess!  There's only one blogger I think is "perfect," but I keep telling myself she must have her struggles, too, so I don't allow myself to feel envious (okay, maybe a little).  

There's enough ugliness in the world around us without adding to it.  On Facebook, you can just block the friend who constantly posts tirades about politics or life.  On blogs, just scroll on through or unsubscribe.  Read the ones that lift you up.  Life is too short to be angry or to beat yourself up over someone else's little successes.

Not only is life too short, but if someone does make me feel bad about myself, should I get mad at them, or should I try to improve myself?  Assuming, of course, that this is an area that needs improvement and isn't just a shallow reflection...In the end, the only thing that matter is whether I pleased God, not myself or anyone else.

 

When Kids Grow Up

It's Wednesday, and we've reach a new normal.   Brendan has graduated from college, and after a few days visiting with us, he has gone "home".  Yes, he even said out loud that this is the place he "visits" from now on!  :-( Pete is still in college, and, so, technically, still lives here, but he is spending the summer on campus working and playing Ultimate Frisbee with his teammates.  (They'll be going to Nationals in a couple of weeks!)  He went back on Monday.

So, here we are.  I have six children, but only 3 at home.  And it's quieter than ever since swim team season has started.  Let me tell you, nothing makes me feel older than telling a young-ish mom that I've just met that I have six kids, but 3 of them are out of the house.  I never thought it would happen!

The past few summers have been absolutely crazy with all of them home wanting to use the same car at the same time.  But that seems to be over now, too.

People say it all the time....enjoy these years while they're young, because they'll be gone before you know it....but...WOW...it's true.  So much energy wasted on worrying about how this or that was going to get done (when it always managed to get done, or it didn't need to be done, after all).   So much energy wasted on trying to be the perfect housewife, as if that is what defines who I am. I'd really much rather be known as the fun mom who always had time for a smile and a hug or a game with the children.  I'd rather be known as the mom who raised young saints.

Life does get a bit crazy with a large family....not that I think 6 is all that large....let's talk to my friend with 10....and some of that is unavoidable, but how we respond to it is our choice.  After many, many years of really congested calendar weeks (and I have always tried really hard not to over schedule the family!) where I was frantic, I finally saw that the week ended and it all got done.  Somehow.  Either someone stepped in to help and I didn't have to do it all myself.  Or someone got sick.  Or events were cancelled.  Or I let the housework and laundry go for a few days.  It. always. got. done, and if I had known that it would  at the beginning of the week, I would have been a much calmer mom!

So, I'm here to tell you, Dear Readers, the time is short.  I know you can't imagine how short, but it is.  Stop reading blogs while your children pull at you and ask for things---games, snacks, hugs, whatever---go love them.

---Trim down your blog list to only those blogs that lift you up and give you something useful for your life.  Don't read the ones that make you feel bad about your life, or tempt you to shop too much, or just simply don't help you improve your life.  Cut them out.  I do that several times per year because new ones keep creeping in!

---Come up with a household management system that is do-able.  Enlist your kids to help because that's the only way they will have a clue how to take care of themselves when they leave home!

---Find out what your husband's minimum standards are.  My husband just wants to be fed; other husbands might not care about food as much.  ;-)

---Speaking of food...have family dinners every night.  Yes, every night.  We might not all be there every night, but those of us who are sit down together and talk.   It might not be fancy, but we do it.  I might not be there, but I get it prepped so the kids can finish it.  Family dinners are the one thing that we've always done, and I am so thankful for!

---My husband's important laundry is taken care of at the dry cleaners, not by me.  Maybe some people don't mind ironing shirts, but we figured out many years ago that the cost at the cleaners was minimal compared with the stress of my trying to replicate their job with children underfoot!

---Keep a family calendar, either on the computer/phone or wall, so you know what needs to be done when, and you can learn to say "No" when it gets too full!

I'm so thankful that I've learned some of these lessons while I still have children at home to practice them on!  (Reason #57,612 why big families are good.)  I hope some of it will rub off on the older ones.

Life is short.  Go live it.  Love your family.

Catholic Election Homily

This homily, shared by Patrick Madrid, is really, really worth watching and listening to before the election---or before you go cast your early vote.

God bless these brave priests who speak clearly and truthfully.

Camping or a Reunion?

I passed up my 30th high school reunion this weekend to go camping with my daughter and the rest of the American Heritage Girls.    It wasn't really a tough decision to make----I don't relish the thought of a 12 hour drive to see people I haven't seen in 30 years.   My in-laws live up there where I (and my husband) went to high school, and it would have been great to stop by the reunion if we were already planning to be in town, but to drop everything, spend hundreds of dollars on gas and food, just to celebrate some milestone, which at this point in my life is not very important to me, is not my cup of tea.

On the other hand, I had a great time with my daughter and our troop, celebrating God's glory in this gorgeous corner of Georgia.   Some of us hiked the stairs down into the canyon to see the falls; some went on hayrides to see the incredible foliage; others, like my daughter, went fishing for several hours.

 Discussions often crop up at these events about why we (some of us) like to camp when we have perfectly comfortable homes, and, most importantly, beds for our aging bones to rest in.  For my part, I enjoy the simplicity---fewer things to play with, use, and then clean up---but a large part of it is simply the beauty of the earth.

The colors of the leaves, the rocks and lichens, the sounds of the wind whistling through the canyon and the waterfall splashing onto the rocks before continuing its babbling journey down the river.  The earthy smell of decaying trees and other green matter. So much variety and texture.  Everywhere you look there is something new to see!  Even if you've seen the view from the top of a mountain before, it's never the same, and if you think it is, it's still pretty spectacular.  All of these speak to me of the immeasurable magnificence of God and the wisdom of his creation. 

And that is why I like camping.   That, and the fact that I can now build a fire all by myself! ;-)

In a Routine!

I'm really so happy to be back in a daily routine--- I operate so much better with structure to my day!  We're into our third week of school, even though some people just started and others haven't started at all yet.  I guess it's my personality.  I'm a  lazy Phlegmatic, frequently Melancholic, and a wishy-washy Choleric.  That doesn't sound very cheerful, does it?  But my husband seems to like me, and so do a few other people.  ;-)

It's the lazy side of me that loves summer vacation---who doesn't love relaxing in the A/C with a book, or relaxing by the side of the pool with a cold beverage and a book, or going on vacations, playing in the waves and sleeping on the beach?  I think I used to get to enjoy those things when my kids were little and summer rolled around.  Oh, honey, while you're slaving away at the office, I'll be at the pool chasing the kids around.  Don't envy me. ;-)  But it's not like that anymore with summertime activities and swim team.  The "schedule," if it exists, is chaotic at best.

The phlegmatic side of me really wants to be using all that free time during the summer to get some big projects accomplished, while my choleric-ness is happy to boss the kids around engage my young helpers in the tasks.  Somehow, the summer passes, the essential things get done, but not very cheerfully.  Ahem...Hello, Madame Melancholic.

Now that school, drama rehearsals, piano lessons, homeschool co-op, Boy Scouts,  and American Heritage Girls are in full swing, I can relax.  Not with bon-bons and a book, except on rare days, but I can function better because I know what the days hold.  Some days are pretty crazy, and others flow pretty smoothly because I don't have back-to-back appointments, or worse, have to bi-locate, but the basic structure is there.

Part of the problem with summer is that everyone is doing their own thing.  We all fall in to that trap of doing nothing, except for my dear husband who continues his routine of long days at the office without fail, and one of the things that falls by the wayside is family prayer time.  We're fairly sporadic about our evening prayer during the summer, and I'm sad to say we almost never pray on vacations.

In my heart, I know that there is a certain structure that would solve all of this:  prayer.  It's really past time (ha!) for me to set my alarm on my phone to remind me to prayers.  All these years with the kids I've tried to get in the habit of praying the Angelus, or the Divine Mercy chaplet, daily, but have failed. I tend to structure my days around school, appointments, and dinner, but I'm pretty sure there is a better way.

For me, I know that making my home like the proverbial Domestic Monastery would help.  What about you?

Do you structure your prayer life?  What makes your days run smoothly?  I'd love to know what tools others use to get through the days!

Career Planning

I belong to a private FB group for my 30th high school reunion which is coming up this fall.  I'm not very active there because I'm kinda busy here at home, but someone posted a clipping from an old school newspaper the other day that was very interesting.  It was a list of seniors with their response to the question:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

As I scrolled down the list, not knowing if my name would be on the incomplete list, I tried to remember what I might have said.  I fully expected it to say Lawyer since I remember discussing the same question in English class that year.  Evidently, I only wanted to marry a Lawyer since, when I found my name, it said, "A Mommy."

I was honestly floored that I said such a thing, not because it wasn't true, but because it seems like such a lame thing to say to another senior in high school where we are all trying desperately to be cool.  At least, I was! I certainly never thought that I meant it times 6, either.  I can only think that the reporter who asked me must have been a good friend that I wouldn't have felt judged by.

I've been a mom for over 23 years now, if you count the months of that first pregnancy---and I definitely do---and this career of mine has shaped me in more ways than I would have thought possible.  No, we don't have to go into the physical shaping, or reshaping, that has occurred.  Suffice it to say that I'm no longer the willowy 21 year-old that I was on my wedding day!

I have learned over and over to put my own needs last, until I crashed and saw that I needed to put my needs a little higher up on the list.  I've seen how much easier it becomes to do without the things I think I need or want when the children have more urgent needs. (Easier, not easy)  Or when the needs and goals of the family as a whole dictate what we do.

Most importantly, I've learned that I don't do any of this mothering on my own.  I've been lucky enough to have an awesome husband who comes from an awesome family and has had a pretty good handle on  how a family runs.  I've also discovered along the way that the Almighty and his Blessed Mother are pretty indispensable while parenting:  someone to tell all my troubles to, someone to ask beg help from, someone to emulate.

I'm going to be leaning on Them a lot more in the coming days (and years) as the first one leaves the nest this week, and we begin the first full week of our homeschool year.  How can it be that at one time I had 6 children at home, with the oldest in 8th grade and no end to it in sight, and now I have only 2 students, and 4 years left of my homeschooling career?

I can't help but wonder what career God has planned for me next!

God is Enough!

We came home yesterday from a week at St. Augustine beach, which I will tell you about in due time, and to a lot of unpacking.  Fortunately, I had done 99% of the laundry at the beach house so I would not be overwhelmed by that today!

Katie was home from her European tour and we sat down to watch her lovely slide show of all the beautiful places she had visited.  She and her friend had simply absorbed the culture wherever they were for almost a month.  She had thoughtfully brought gifts for each of us, and mine was a St. Teresa of Avila medal with a prayer card.  Written in Spanish, which I don't speak, the contents were somewhat of a mystery for the moment.

Having finished the slide show, I took the dog for a long walk around the neighborhood, where I proceeded to have a mini go-to-pieces (as my mother+ used to call it).  Overwhelmed and melancholy, little tears were dripping as I walked, though I wasn't even sure why, so I started a rosary.

As I walked and prayed, I wondered what good it was doing.  Yes, I know I'm supposed to meditate on the mysteries, but sometimes that doesn't happen as it ought!  I knew in my head that all the same tensions would be present when I got home:  unpacking, repacking Meg for summer camp, house cleaning and decluttering, getting ready for school, AHG, feeding my family...Yet I doggedly persisted in my prayer, reaching the last glorious mystery, The Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary as Queen of Heaven, as I came up the hill toward home.

All through the walk there had been this niggling little urge to find the translation of the St. Teresa prayer card, and as I started that last decade, I knew in my heart that it held the answer I needed.  If you know what it's like to be a mom, you know that for a myriad of reasons, I wasn't able to look it up until this morning!  This is what I found, and yes, it is the answer to my problems:

May nothing disturb you!

(St. Teresa of Avila had these verses written in herbreviary**)

May nothing disturb you.

May nothing astonish you.

Everything passes.

God does not go away.

Patience

can attain anything.

He who has God within,

does not lack anything.

God is everything!*

(Translation by Jorge W. Suazo)

(*This last verse may be interpreted as "God is enough.")

I'm still a little overwhelmed and melancholy, and I still have lots of work to do, but I know it will be okay.

Magical Womanhood

I read a very interesting, wide-ranging movie review the other day. Sister Helen Burns's review of Magic Mike covered so much more than the movie itself! She gave a beautiful explanation of the definitions of lust, and male and female sexuality, and the theology of the body. I haven't read her blog before, but I will certainly be going back after this! Stop by now and see what she had to say; I will be happily waiting for you here.

I grew up in a very worldly, sexualized society, like most people my age, that has changed quite a bit in my lifetime! In fact, you could almost say that I've grown up with the birth control pill since it was legalized just a few years before I was born.

Wow, it only just occurred to me to wonder why my (non-Catholic) mom had three children very close together when the pill was available. I know that by the time she got pregnant with me, the last, she was miserable and wanted out. I've always known I was unwanted, but very much loved once I arrived. I have years worth of birthday cards telling me what a gift I was to my mom, and how much joy I brought her. I have no illusions that I merited any of that (although I was pretty cute and sweet!); it was merely the fact of my existence. And that is a whole different blog post about how much joy a life can give, no matter what the circumstances.

Oh, it looks like this is going to be a wide-ranging blog post, too! Back to the movie-review...which filled me with thoughts about what it means to be a woman and a sexual creature...

I grew up (along with the pill, remember?) thinking I had to dress a certain way (immodestly) to be attractive. I had to have the perfect figure, and if I didn't have those things, I had to do certain things to be worthy. Of course, not all those things I felt compelled to do were sexual (nor did I do everything. I was very uncool in that way!); I also felt that I needed to have a big career---you know, bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.

All I really wanted, as it turns out, was to get married at 21 and have children, preferably staying home to raise them. It was the Catholic Church and my loving husband, that opened my eyes to the true beauty of this lifestyle, which society continually tries to destroy. Children have become disposable commodities to have at our discretion. More and more, we are wanting them to be designer, perfect babies, if we want them at all. Women are not fulfilling their potential by staying home to take care of them.

These days I consider myself a feminist---one who believes that caring for a husband and family is the highest of callings. Extended breast feeding, which is a form of mothering as well as nourishing, is part of that. Now, I don't care if you couldn't breast feed, or if you feel you have to work, either for your sanity or for your bank account. I'm not here to judge your choices or abilities, and I wish that people would stop judging me for mine. I might wish you didn't feel as if you have fit a certain mold, but that doesn't mean I think less of you!

I've said before (sorry, not many links today since I'm typing on the iPad!) that we started using NFP a few years into our marriage. Learning to see the beauty of the sex act, and the miracle of children led to my conversion. I could see that the Catholic Church, far from being an oppressor of women, was the one place that I and my children were to be wholeheartedly accepted and r.e.s.p.e.c.t.e.d. Years of using NFP, teaching NFP, giving RCIA talks on marriage and sexuality, and teaching a more in-depth pe-Cana (marriage prep) class on marital sexuality further ingrained that belief in the beauty of womanhood. So, finally getting to the point, I hate to see the destruction of society and femininity brought about by contraception and porn. The continued degradation of women through movies, books, and billboards. You name it. Hardly anyplace is the value of true womanhood upheld.

Now, it would be nice if the rest of the world would let children be children instead of teaching them about sex through movies, tv, radio, and schools. It would be nice if girls knew that they could say no to sex and immodest clothing, so that they could be seen as a whole person and not just a collection of body parts to be judged. It would be awesome if each young girl knew that she was totally worth the wait and that there is nothing more beautiful than married sex which is open to God's plan for life. And it would've great if women didn't feel they have to objectify men as we've been objectified all these years.

~~~~~~
I'm going to wrap up my rambling rant now! This is what you get when I go on vacation and I have, basically, all day long to write a post! Let me know what you think and what you'd like to rant about next. Have a blessed day!

Summery Daybook

FOR TODAY Outside my window... Early morning sun, and the air is cool. In fact, I think I'll open the windows to let that beautiful breeze in before the day gets too hot!

I am thinking... About the upcoming elections and the political situation in our country, especially regarding religious freedom. This is definitely not a political blog, so lets not make it one, but I will say that it's much easier to choose a presidential (or any other) candidate when you choose LIFE.

 The first time I heard this suggested was many years ago when I was a very young voter. It seemed way too simplistic to me. OTOH, I'm not the type to examine every single issue, do the math, and come up with the candidate who has the highest score. Or you can just vote your party regardless of what the candidates stand for. The more I think about it, year after year, the more I realize that if we, as a nation, allow the wholesale killing of innocent babies every year, then we are doomed. Likewise, if we promote a lifestyle of free sex and free contraception, which leads to more abortions, then we are doomed. We can't succeed in the other areas because we don't have the best interests of the country at heart.

I am thankful... For friends and a community of support.

From the learning roomskitchen table... Nothing. Day after day we fail at remembering to do our math. :-( The kids are happy, though. They play outside with their friends most of the day; they go to the pool; they generally have fun even though they read less and watch more than I would like.

In the kitchen...
The oven needs a repairman since it won't light all the time.  Dinner last night was an hour late because it took 45 minutes for the darned oven to light!  I can hear all the alarm bells going off in your heads as you think about the gas oven not lighting, and the gas accummulating!  Yep.  I'm right there with ya!

I am wearing...
White bermuda shorts and pink polo. Summery and cute as a button.  ;-)


I am knitting...
Nada.  Finished the baby blanket which is blocking as we speak.  I'm hoping to start a new project---sewing, not knitting---after I acquire a couple of supplies.

I am going...
To JoAnn's for those supplies, and to the post office to mail a couple of things (like a rosary to Jen).


I am wondering...
What my sweet Katie is doing in Spain today.  She arrived yesterday and has 3.5 glorious weeks to spend with her friend, traveling Spain and Italy!  Lucky, lucky, girl!

I am reading...
The same. old. things.  All Creatures Great and Small --- Interesting vet stories and characters, but I'm not seeing the arc.  All I see is endless stories and I don't get any closer to the end.  And boy, does that sound like heresy when so many people LOVE these books!

I am hoping...
That our next door neighbor calls the professionals about the coyote problem here.  As I suspected, their den is just across the drive from their (the neighbor's, not the coyote's) garage, and down an embankment in the woods.  A great deal of unholy howling and yipping is concentrated there, and I even saw one out of the woods yesterday evening.  So, naturally, the next time we heard a ruckus during dinner, Meg ran out of the house, right over to the edge of the woods to see what she could see!

I am looking forward to...
The beach later this summer!  We're going to St. Augustine, one of the places I've always wanted to go.  I'm looking forward to lots of little historical field trips to break up the endless days on the beach!

I am hearing on my ipod...
When I'm not listening to one of the many, awesome, SQPN podcasts, I've been listening to Fun which my 16 yo introduced me to.  It's fun.

Around the house...
The list of things to do, large and small, around the house is overwhelming.  Maybe my thyroid is on the fritz again because I just cannot see myself doing any of it!

One of my favorite things...
Chocolate.  Chocolate paleo brownies.  Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate bars.  (Does the desire for dark chocolate have anything to do with the thyroid?)

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Swim meet, as usual, but we're pretty free to relax do stuff around the house this week.


Hosted by The Simple Woman's Daybook

Monday Musings

It's Monday, and there are lots of thoughts rolling around inside my brain.  There's the week ahead and what needs to be done.  There's also the HHS mandate from the government and how shocked I am that children, the greatest gift from God, and the ability NOT to have them should be a "free" gift from the government.

We don't have a future without our children.  Do our children know about this issue?  How do they feel about it?  How would you feel if you knew your parents rushed out and got sterilized almost as soon as they found out you were on your way?  Would that make you feel wanted?  Or as if your parents thought:  Darn, we let that one slip by.  We won't let it happen again!

That alone makes me very sad.  The fact that our president wants to take away our religious freedom is downright alarming!  Has everyone forgotten our history studies?  I guess I've been studying/teaching history for so many years that it's pretty well ingrained that our country was founded by people who fled Europe seeking religious freedom.  Remember the Pilgrims?  It's the very definition of the word.  It's one of the things that has made our country so great.

pilgrim |ˈpilgrəm|nouna person who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons.• (usu. Pilgrim )a member of a group of English Puritans fleeing religious persecution who sailed in the Mayflower and founded the colony of Plymouth, Massachusetts, in 1620.

Scary picture of the inside of Gus's mouth.  Makes me think of the scary jaws of the government seeking to control us.  

Looks like he has a little bug trapped between his teeth.  Could that be the Catholic Church?

He's so adorable when he's asleep.  Makes you forget how very naughty and misguided he can be when he's awake.

Sometimes he's downright dangerous when he doesn't get his way and uses his teeth!

When I started this, I thought that I would just show you pictures that my kids have taken instead of ranting about the government because I'm definitely not a political blogger, but I guess it needed to come out after all.

Sorry.  Maybe a rose will make up for it?