Sunday, February 5, 2012

Don't Look at Me; I'm not in Charge!

It has been a long week---one of those weeks where you're busy, but it's doable, and then things happen and your perfectly timed plan goes to pot.  

For instance, on one busy day, I had it all planned out, all my comings and goings in the car.  We had just bought a tie out for the puppy to spend some time in the backyard (because he likes to be out so much that he's constantly ringing the bell, asking to go out!).  I was out there with him on an important phone call, and I watch the dog throw up a dozen times in 15 minutes!  Thank goodness he was outside, but then I had to work in an expensive vet visit on my already full day.  (And he's fine; he seems to have eaten flower bulbs which are generally toxic, and I don't know how or where he got them.)

I want to tell you what happened that evening, but it doesn't seem fair to everyone involved. Suffice it to say it was a huge lesson in humility for me, far more difficult to bear than messing up while cantoring at Mass (which happened last night!).  I'm not the only one sick about what happened, but it's my behavior I have to be concerned with.  

I've apologized; I've been to confession; I've been praying lots of prayers of "God, help me." You know, when you don't even know what you're supposed to do next, and He has to lead the way?

And in the end, I'm not sure what will happen, but I see people being hurt no matter what, and a group of people I love torn apart by unnecessary division.  It's not me and my behavior that's going to cause the division, but the issue at hand.  I don't know what to do.  I am in charge, but very much not in control.  

It's a good thing today is Sunday and there's yet another opportunity to go to Mass!  What do you do when these things happen in your life?  I'd love to know what I can do better!


  1. Oh boy...I have had weeks like that. Know that you're in my prayers!


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