Would you like little cheese with that whine?

All that peace of a couple of weeks ago has evaporated.  It's busy around here, and I'm tired.  The house is cluttered, and I'm tired.  My head is full of negative self-talk, and I'm tired of it. It could be that the busy, clutter, negativity, and tiredness are all caused by the same thing:  painting and reorganizing our library.  Or it could be Lent.  You decide.

Last Saturday, I had finally had enough.  The ladder was still out, and I had a free Saturday with the help of my dear Katie to start painting.  Even though we were going to take it slowly and paint "one wall at a time,"  after 2 walls, we realized everything else had to come out of the room so it could be finished or it would drag on for weeks.  We had to empty 2 seven-foot-tall bookcases that were overloaded with books, move them, paint, and put them back in new spots.  We also had to move out the computer armoire to replace it with the goodwill desk that also needed to be painted.

Ugh.  The painting is all done and the furniture is in place, but the ladder is still out, and so is a bunch of stuff we removed from the armoire.  It all needs new homes, or to find its way to the trash.

All this clutter really affects my thinking; I do so much better with clear spaces (so you'd think I'd be better at maintaining them, right?).  I decided to get out of the house yesterday when my afternoon was free-ish (ignoring the ladder, right?) to do a little shopping.

Why, oh why, does shopping for clothes have to be so demoralizing?  Why can't stores light their dressing rooms the way I light my home?  Or is that the way I really look to everyone else? Why can't they have funhouse mirrors that make everyone look thin?  And subdued lighting that makes your skin glow while eliminating fine lines and wrinkles?

I'm deep into the Total Consecration to Mary prayers these days.  A good 45 minutes of prayer/reading daily, including the rosary.  It's hard to get it all in.  Yesterday, I prayed at adoration, and you would not believe the negative, uncharitable thoughts that were going through my head during the rosary.  Right there in front of Jesus!

Tell me that this is Lent and the Consecration prayers.  It's not me.  I'm not the Loser Satan is telling me I am.  I'm not the Loser I'm telling me I am.  {Not that you'd know, because most of you don't know the real me, just the online me.  But you can tell me, anyway.  Maybe I'll listen.  ;-)  }  Everything is a struggle, right now, and I want to quit all my activities/responsibilities because I'm not good enough.

Ugh.

Cast your vote for the cause of my problems:  Lent or Library!